| Issue #24 - September 5, 2008 |
Montauk Police Blotter
Surfboards, Fish And, Well, Fish
Two Fishermen
Two fishermen got into an argument on who had the better fishing rod and things got ugly. One of the fisherman smacked the other over the head with a giant blue fish. They ended up eating the bluefish and resolving it over a beer.
Surfer
A lone surfer in Montauk has been known to be stealing surfboards off of people's cars. Police identified the man to the public. He is now missing.
Doggy Dog
A dog peed on a person while they were sunbathing at Ditch Plains. The owner apologized to the woman. The dog, for whatever reason, did not show any real remorse. Most people on the beach agreed that the incident was pretty funny.
Teenager
A teenager was caught shop lifting some beer out of a store in Montauk. He is being punished now by having to work at the store as a stockboy.
Video Game System
A video game system was reported missing in Montauk. Police were surprised because they thought that nobody played video games in Montauk because there is so much wonderful outdoor activity to do.
Cell Phone
A man on his cell phone while sitting at the Montauk Movie theater is back in New York City after the owners pulled down on the ejection seat lever that launched the man at five hundred miles per hour to the Hudson River.
Tickets
Nine billion dollars was the amount issued in parking violations by the town at Surf Lodge.
Three Bananas
On three separate occasions, a man slipped on a banana in the lot at Ditch Plains Beach. It was pretty funny.
- Compiled by David Lion Rattiner
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