Montauk Pioneer - August 22, 2008

It seems these days that everyone is having twins. You see it in the media and with people that you know personally. The fact is that every one out of ninety births are twins. Three out of four twin births are fraternal and one out of four are identical. How do twins come about? To start, there are two different types of twins. There are fraternal twins and identical twins. Fraternal twins have their own placenta and amniotic sac. Fraternal twins can be two boys, two girls or one of each. Identical twins happen when one fertilized egg divides into two separate fetuses. Identical twins can only be two boys or two girls. Everything is the same with them including hair color, eye color and blood type. Fraternal twins are more common than identical twins. They are more common in women who have to take fertility drugs and chances increase for twins as a woman gets older.

People always talk about the bond that twins have and often think it's linked more to the identical twins than the fraternal twins. This is not true. Fraternal twins come into this world next to each other and grow up together. I remember in school there were twins that had lockers next to mine. Although they had two separate lockers, they would often share one. Sometimes it seemed like they didn't have to finish their sentences because the other one knew what was going to be said. I was kind of envious of them because I am a twin but my brother was stillborn. I often wondered if we would have had a bond like these two people. I'm sure we would have.

I am considered a twinless twin which means that I am a survivor of a twin birth where my twin didn't make it. Twinless twins often feel like they are missing something or are incomplete. I've always described it as if I was a puzzle and a corner piece was missing so I don't feel complete. I didn't realize until about two years ago that the guilt I've had for years was actually survivors guilt which is usually connected to people that survive horrible accidents, not with twinless twins. One famous person who also carried this guilt was Elvis Presley. He had a twin brother who was stillborn and Elvis always wondered what it would have been like if he had lived.

My mom told me that when I was younger I would say words like "we" and "us" and when she would ask who I was talking about, I would point next to me and say "him". I don't remember any of this, probably because I was too young, but it sure did freak my mom out. Much like Elvis I do feel like there's always someone with me, looking over me. The bond is still ever present even when your twin is not here anymore.

As for the twins that do grow up together, the bond is apparent. Last year my sister had fraternal twins, a boy and a girl, and you can definitely see the bond. My sister told me that one morning they woke up, looked at each other and smiled and then reached for each other and held hands for a few seconds. This was the first time she realized how bonded they truly are.

There are some great websites and books on twins. A good website is www.twinsmagazine.com. A fun book for kids to read is "Twin Tales" by Donna M. Jackson. If you are a twin or want to tell us something interesting about you and your twin, you can email me at montaukadgirl@aol.com. Remember twins are twice the fun!