Debbie's back. And I have a new coterie of sophisticated colleagues. Buckle your seat belts. No more items about store parties raising money to benefit my neighbor's cousin's elementary school in Baltimore. I will aspire to be--or at least write about things--as chic as our editorial vision. So, rather than open the season with stories about indigenous Long Island festivities, which in April is limited to pancake breakfasts and wine-and-cheese poetry readings--though let me say right now, I do love pancakes and poetry--I will mention a city event, but only because its hosts are East Enders.

There has been much breathless reportage--oops, that was mine!--about mega birthday bashes. Well we have tapped our toes, shed a few sentimental tears and shimmied shamelessly, but at Woody Johnson's "Wig Out" 60th birthday party, we did all that in wigs. What a genius way to break down barriers, show our inner selves and cover our hair. (I can't speak for anyone else, but I was having a really bad-hair day). And is there a better group to don bobs than Woody's football-loving crowd? His beautiful girlfriend Suzanne Ircha, Peggy Siegal, and Wendy Carduner masterminded the festivities at Doubles. Upon entering the party, guests were given flashing rubber rings for their fingers and greeted with a basket full of wigs in case they forgot to bring one. Suzanne wore an Edie Sedgwick platinum wig and a sparkling mini-dress. Woody complemented her with a Warhol white mop, shades and an especially groovy black-satin shirt. They had tried the costumes on at home the day before and, with one look, their one-year-old son Brick fled in confusion. Imagine his reaction when he showed up at Doubles to see Terry Allen Kramer sporting a ginormous blonde afro and Nick Simunek channeling Ozzy Osbourne.

But the rest of the family stayed, including Woody's daughters Daisy and Jaime; his sister Libbet and 4 of her 5 children; his cousin Jimmy and posse; his brother Chris in golden curls and Chris's wife, Jane, in long red hair, and their lovely mother, Betty Johnson. Woody's professional "family" also touched down: Jets coach Eric Mangin; President Jay Cross; General Manager Mike Tannenbaum in a brave, red flame wig; CFO Thad Sheely going for it in green hair; SVP Matt Higgins as a dignified, white-haired barrister; players Ben Graham in pirate garb and running-back Curtis Martin, the one man in the room brave enough to go silver. But if you looked like him, you could too. Joining the football gang were NFL Commissioner Roger Goodall and his Fox News reporter wife, Jane, and collegial competitor, Patriots owner Robert Kraft. Steve Schwarzman looked forever young in his red velvet jacket and Rod Stewart wig, complete with his Penny Lancaster look-a-like wife, Christine, in long blonde locks. Linda Wells was equal parts Catherine Deneuve, Audrey Hepburn, and Sedgwick. (Her husband, Charlie Thompson, made a very fine Warhol.) VH1's John Sykes and Mark Gilbertson wore the same dreadlocks hanging from a knit hat. Mark said he borrowed it from his mother. Melania Trump dazzled in long platinum hair and a matching dress, and chuckled as her husband, Donald, toasted the birthday boy. "Woody called me and said, 'I want to join your new golf club,'" Trump regaled the crowd. "I told him it would be $250,000. Woody said, 'How about $50?'"

Karen LeFrak hid her signature long blonde hair, and went short and red. "You look even younger!" her husband, Richard, told her. On that note, I must say that I have mixed feelings about the accolades for my long, auburn shag: "Wow, you should've been a redhead!" It's a little late to be telling me now!

The identical Koch brothers had unidentical wigs--fluffy and blond for Bill, and slick and gray for David (who may have been "doing" a Woody, having arrived in a Jets cap). Eva Dubin was pink, Anne Hearst McInerney very short and sexy. Dixon Boardman wore the same red afro he wears around Palm Beach. Carol Mack was geisha-like, dark and sculpted. Georgette Mosbacher was Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, with wired red braids and a white apron. Deborah Norville was disco pink, and Chuck Scarborough adorned his punky black shag look with a 50 Cent silver tooth. Jann Wenner's beard looked so real, I think it was. And Matt Nye just looked good. Charlie Rose demurred from any wigging out, while Larry Kudlow kept his curls on most of the night. Bob Pittman, unrecognizable in a brown Beatles mop, identified himself as he remembered a cross-country motorcycle trip he took with Woody, "When it started to rain, we all put on our heavy, black leather jackets. Woody put on his green Barbour."

The cake was wheeled out, and there were two names on it. It was Julia Koch's birthday, too. And Woody shared it with her, candles and all. Just when we thought we were sated, the Jersey Boys waltzed out to serenade Woody, the original Jersey boy, via Princeton and the Meadowlands. "To another 10 years together and a Super Bowl win," Suzanne toasted her boyfriend. Oh, what a night indeed.