Hampton Style - August 17, 2007 - beauty at the beach

There are a lot of peculiar things I do in the privacy of my own home.They usually involve spoonfuls of Nutella, practicing the signature Alyssa Gyllenhaal, or watching old episodes of Nip/Tuck while touching the face of Dr. Troy on my flat-screen.

But spa services? I usually leave that for Fifth Avenue.

That is, until Completely Bare Day Spa contacted my editor saying they were offering house calls in the Hamptons. Specifically, waxing and/or permanent hair removal anywhere you need it, with a focus on "bikini lines."

Forget waxing, I wanted the permanent stuff. And despite the impending pain, I was excited to see how this would work.

First of all, I'm a Cancer. We're homebodies. The concept of a house call, whether we're talking chefs, masseuses, trainers or third dates, is enormously tempting.

Second, no matter how flawless anyone thinks they look in a bikini, there's always room for a tiny touch-up.

Third, while you get what you pay for, these services are very expensive.This was my chance to get a high-end beauty treatment, from the same place as the Hiltons and Hilary Swank, without spending the big bucks.

Normally permanent hair-reduction is approximately $300 per session, and each body part requires six sessions, once a month, for full results. That's a lot of cash to look cute in your Pucci two-piece.

We set something up and I began agonizing over the logistics. Do I turn my Southampton house into a candle-lit spa haven? Answer the door with just a towel on? Prepare some pre-pain margaritas?

Luckily, Sandra Cossa showed up a little early for our Friday afternoon appointment, so I didn't have enough time to stress. She came with another Completely Bare staffer, as well as a big, badass machine that had to be rolled in on a hospital cart.

They set up shop in my room of choice and we began to discuss what exactly I wanted to be zapped. We'll leave those intimate details for Sandra, my Frette sheets, and me.

The big thing with laser hair-removal is sun exposure. The level of sun your designated area has been exposed to affects which procedure will work best. Completely Bare is not kidding around with this stuff. If you're tan, or expect to be tan, or maybe know a very tan person, you really shouldn't be getting laser hair removal. You also can't go if you're blond or a redhead. Sorry, girls!

Sandra and I "got comfortable" (otherwise known as me undressing), and she proceeded to ask me 20 questions about my skin and its sun exposure. I passed the tests and prepared myself for the well-publicized pain involved with this kind of ordeal.

What happens behind closed North Sea doors, stays behind North Sea doors. But let's just say this: It did not tickle. Waxing is a walk on the beach next to this. It hurts like hell, and leaves the area slightly swollen for a day or two. Ice-packs help.

Of course, anyone can survive 10-20 minutes of maddening pain if it means looking all the more luscious. At least I can. Which is why when Sandra said we were all done, I racked my brain to think of anything else I wanted to get lasered. Call me a masochist, or just a beauty addict, but I honestly couldn't get enough.

In fact, it turns out I was their first house call ever. But the Completely Bare Hamptons crew, imported mostly from the Scarsdale location, thinks that their staff will eventually be booked solid on the weekends. (Appointments should be made through the New York location at 212-366-6060.) I hope they're right and that this service catches on. The privacy is a true luxury and the results make a world of difference to women (and men) who don't want to deal with waxing appointments.

And the pain? Well, we're New Yorkers. We like a little struggle.