Dan's Papers - March 21, 2008 - Twentysomething...By David Lion Rattiner

My good friend Tom Scarpulla recently got married. He is a few years my senior and went to college at Northeastern University with me. It has been amazing to watch him grow from a college student to a trainee at Nortel Networks, and to now being married and a top salesman for his company.

He got married at East Hampton Town Hall. He and his wife Gosha (so weird to say that) were dating for about two years before they got married. She and her family are from Poland, and after the wedding, Tom, a few of his friends, his family, and Gosha's parents went out to dinner at Il Capuccino in Sag Harbor.

The dinner was like a movie. Tom's new in-laws were sitting at the head of the table talking back and forth in Polish, and Tom and I were chatting about our days as bachelors. We whispered lines like, "Do you remember the time I..." as we laughed and ate pasta.

After a couple of hours, the late dinner wrapped up and Tom's aunt said to him, "Be sure you don't lose that wedding ring." We all laughed as Tom checked his hand, then his pockets, and frantically stood up. "Oh my God where is it?"

His eyes looked like a deer in headlights as they connected with mine. He was FREAKING out. "Oh you'll find it," somebody at the table said.

But Tom couldn't find it and I watched in horror as my good friend and his wife thought he had lost their wedding ring on the day they got married. One minute turned into two, and three into four, and four into ten. "This isn't funny Tom. Where is it?" his new wife asked him.

"I'm looking baby, I'm looking," he said in a panic.

At this point, the entire table was looking for the ring. I was nervous for Tom. Where could he have left it? His wife's parents got on their hands and knees and began crawling underneath the table and checking behind the baseboard heaters. All of us followed suit, looking in odd places. I even checked underneath a wine bottle. Tom ran off to the bathroom to check there, and his wife began to cry when the possibility of the ring being flushed down the toilet became an option.

"It will be alright," I said. "We'll find it."

Did Tom accidentally flush it down the toilet? I followed him to the bathroom where he was checking the sink. "I'm in so much trouble dude. You gotta help me! YOU GOTTA HELP ME!"

"Calm down dude. I'm not leaving until we find it. Please tell me you didn't flush it down the toilet."

"I don't know man, I don't know."

"Okay, I'm looking bro. Don't worry, I lose crap all of the time."

I began searching the bathroom. Tom ran to comfort his wife. I started to ponder the ridiculousness of wedding rings. Honestly, it's just a ring! What the hell is wrong with people? Just get another one!

"It has an engraving. AN ENGRAVING!" I heard his wife say.

I don't really get why girls get so excited about things like this. My girlfriend yells at me if I throw out a Christmas card. She actually bought me a special box to keep old cards. I can't even imagine how screwed I would be if I lost a wedding ring. I searched harder. Tom was my friend. I wasn't leaving.

At this point a half an hour had gone by, and people were getting desperate. Tom's aunt was taking pictures, soaking in every moment. For her, this was what life was all about, as she tried to keep a smile and embrace the story. However, she was the only one with that attitude. The rest of us were in a state of panic.

I blasted into the men's bathroom and dumped out all of the bathroom garbage onto the floor while holding my breath. The managers of the restaurant started to get annoyed. It was late at this point and they wanted to go home. Just find it already or leave, they were thinking.

I picked through toilet paper and wet paper towels. I was at a loss. If I didn't hear the clank of the ring after dumping it all on the floor, what was the point of even looking?

But without hesitation, I unraveled every piece of paper towel just to be sure. And then my moment of victory came.

In slow motion, the ring came out of a paper towel and clanked on the floor and I felt like I had just hit the jackpot in Las Vegas. It must have slipped off Tom's hand while he was drying his hands. "I GOT IT! I GOT IT!" I shouted.

With the Chariots of Fire theme music playing, I ran down the hallway of Il Capuccino and placed the ring into the palm of Tom's hand. The whole family roared in a cheer. Tom's wife was now smiling, and because of the smile, her sadness tears looked like tears of joy. "I owe you one man, oh dude, I owe you one," Tom said.