Dan's Papers - March 14, 2008 - The Hampton Subway Newsletter

Celebrities crowded the "de Luxe" Subway cars located at the front of every subway train on the system this past week, the second week that the service has been open.

"I usually take the subway once a day," said David Geffen, the entertainment mogul. "There's always a deal to be made. And amidst the caviar and champagne, the massage and the yoga, the meals - prepared by Daniel Boulud this week - it can't be beat."

Lining up this week to pay in Euros for their "parlour car at the front" experience were, from "south of the highway" Alec Baldwin, George Foreman, P Diddy, Jon Stewart, David Letterman, Deepak Chopra, former President Jimmy Carter, Oprah Winfrey and Paris Hilton, who arrived holding hands with her houseguest Britney Spears.

"This is the place to be," said Dolly Parton.

Celebrity baseball pitcher bad boy Roger Clemens was spotted boarding the train at Hampton Bays, but apparently only rode it for two stops, getting off in Westhampton. What was that all about?

Those who take the "de Luxe" cars do everything from just going round and round on the system, a circuit from Montauk to Westhampton that takes about an hour and a half, to just riding for one stop, and then having one of the black limousines parked at the subway entrances take them back to where they started.

"It's the 'in' place to be," said Hamptons sage Steven Gaines.

Record numbers of people used the subway system this past week. The total, 8,212, is more than double the total of last week, a record for any week in the month of March on the system since the Subway's founding in 1978, and nearly what we normally expect at the height of the summertime.

The soaring numbers have been entirely due to the "de Luxe" service, now in its second week, offered to those chosen few who can afford the very best in the first car only on each of the subway lines. Ridership on the rest of the train has slumped, as commuters and locals have just gotten pretty disgusted with all the hoopla going on up front and the delays that it has caused, and have for the most part found other means of getting around the Hamptons.

"I propose they just unhook that front car and leave it in the station not going anywhere, so the rest of us can go back to getting where we have to go in a reasonable amount of time," said one commuter.

Our commissioner hotly denies that the Hampton Subway System is in negotiation with a well-heeled corporation to sell the property. Also denying it are executives from Luxury VIP Services, a company that owns numerous trollies, charter planes, moving stairs and hotels around the world. The amount being bandied about is $356 million. "Not likely" says Aspinall.

There is so much to talk about this week. The Hampton Subway is not for sale. These are just rumors.

Other rumors that Governor Spitzer was in the "de Luxe" car enjoying the services are totally false, and when we heard about the rumor, we immediately ordered a search, but didn't find him. This is a family run operation. We have people with children in the "de Luxe" cars.

We have 11 subway routes, each with one "de Luxe" car at the front followed by seven regular cars constantly on the move 22 hours a day - we shut down from 2-4 a.m. for routine maintenance - and aware of the popularity of the "de Luxe" service, we will, next week, add two more "de Luxe" cars on each route, and at the same time remove two of the regular cars in the back because of the declining service there. So no new passenger cars will have to be ordered. One of the two new "de Luxe" cars will be decorated in Empire French style, while the other will be in the Imperial Russian style to compliment the gold leaf decoration of the lead cars, which are all in the English Victorian Wimbledon style.

Also, users of the "de Luxe" service should now note that the motormen there are all dressed in smart new uniforms, designed by the same fashion house that provides uniforms for the crew of the Cunard Line.

My personal condolences go to the family of the 52-year-old man who decided to stand up while going through the thunder and lightning "storm" last Thursday while aboard the amusement ride called the Spielberg Drop that my brother Biff and I own in the subway tube that used to connect Shinnecock with the Lobster Inn. Five minutes of silence will be observed in the ticket office every Thursday at 4:32 pm for the next month in his memory.

The ride was delayed for a half an hour so his body could be removed, a short delay that the crowds hardly noticed.