Dan's Papers -February 12, 2010 -Err, A Parent

It's heartening to see members of the community come together for the education and benefit of its youth. Several organizations are offering support that's critical to teens' and tweens' well-being, safety and personal development - serious efforts focused on serious issues.

The first is most pertinent and critical, especially in light of the recent, shocking rape of a 16-year old girl in East Hampton by a 19-year old Marine who met her via a website, youryearbook.com. This month, The Retreat is kicking off a campaign to promote February as Teen Dating Violence Prevention Month, by scheduling a variety of community lectures, programs and youth projects.

It's needed. Statistics provided by The Retreat are shocking: About one third of adolescent girls in the US are victims of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner. About one third of sexually active high school girls experiences physical or sexual violence from dating partners. That group is more than twice as likely to report an STD diagnoses. Ten percent of 13-16 year-old girls have electronically sent or posted nude or semi-nude photos or videos of themselves.

To raise awareness and provide support and education, The Retreat is sponsoring a PSA Competition for students to create videos that address these issues. They've scheduled community workshops on healthy relationships and cyber-safe dating at secondary schools, and collaborated with Suffolk Community College in Riverhead to present a "Loving Safely" health fair this Thursday, Feb. 11. Next week at SUNY Stony Brook Southampton is a lecture addressing dating abuse, stalking and sexual assault and the impact violence in the media has on relationships. According to Retreat Executive Director Jeffrey Friedman, "Our hope is that we ... can start to empower our teens to make better choices." For more information on these programs, call Stacey Bellem, Director of Agency Programs, 329-4398, ex. 121; Retreat hotline, 329-2200 (24/7). Or visit theretreat.com.

In another outreach attempt, the Bridgehampton Child Care and Rec Center is offering an empowering workshop for 14-18 year old girls. Educator Latisha J. Ellis leads the course, Girls to Women (G2W), on Thursdays at 6:30 pm at The Center.

Ellis recognizes that girls need guidance through the transition as they confront the social challenges of their schools, families and community. G2W will focus on helping the young women learn skills of patience, hard work, dedication, integrity, faith and love - all through dialogue, exposure, reading and sharing. Executive Director Bonnie Cannon said, "I know that in the capable hands of Ms. Ellis this program is bound for success." For further information contact Latisha J. Ellis at the Bridgehampton Child Care & Recreational Center, 631-537-0616

And in a third awareness-raising, character building effort, The Southampton Cultural Center held special performance of The Laramie Project for high school juniors and seniors. The play, which ran for six regular performances, chronicles the harrowing story of the murder of 21-year old college student Matthew Shepard, the victim of a brutal anti-gay hate crime. Almost 150 students from Southampton, Pierson, Ross and Mattituck high schools attended the early morning show. (East Hampton missed out because of a snow delay.)

Director Michael Disher ran the show almost in its entirety. "The students were riveted. I was so surprised," he said. "No talking, no texting. It had a tremendous impact - not only for me, but for them and the cast."

The Q&A after the show was more a discussion where students got more background on the true story. "Afterward, many students said they were happy to see something that wasn't a watered down assembly. One kid said 'thank you so much for not patronizing us.'"

A teacher himself for 25 years, Disher sees education outreach, particularly on important issues, as a major part of his role in the community, stating, "I always say we can never knock down walls, but we can sure dent the hell out of them..."