Dan's Papers - February 15, 2008 - Mike Vilensky's Mini-Movie Reviews

A father, Ryan Reynolds, in the middle of a divorce, re-considers his past romantic options - three intriguing women - while explaining the melodrama to his daughter, the adorable Abagail Breslin, as she tries to figure out who her mother is. A sort of High Fidelity without the music or profanity, and a hopeful (and cute) movie for those who have hoped their ex might re-consider!

Art students compete in the medium of dance with Maryland's most notorious underground dance troupe in this pseudo-sequel of sass and dirty (albeit Disney-approved) dancing.

A couple on the rocks hunts for buried treasure, only to find their lost romance in this action/romantic comedy. The movie reunites Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey, making it sort of like How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days on an island, only not very funny.

Best of both worlds concert tour - couldn't snag the high-priced tickets to see this tween pop star live at the coliseum? No worries, because the GIRL'S ON FILM! In 3D. My best friend Leslie says, "oh, she's just being Miley." Or Hannah Montana! Either way, this rising Disney star is golden with dated moves and synthesized, fun tunes to belt out.

A popular talk show host leaves the Hollywood Hills to learn some family values in his hometown in the Deep South. With Martin Lawrence starring, this may be the most interesting of this week's crop, but that isn't saying much.

A film so inane I initially neglected to review it, assuming it would be never noticed and soon forgotten. Instead, this parody of every other bad movie that came out in the past year, ironically a meta-parody of itself, starring Carmen Electra with a cameo by Paris Hilton is the number one movie in the country. God bless America.

Paris Hilton stars in a heartfelt romcom about a man who is trying to rekindle the flame of his childhood love, but first must tame her unattractive best friend, who he may also begin falling in love with. With the word "nottie" in the title and a bevy of unfunny jokes in the trailer, you can insert your own joke here.

It's MySpace gone bad in this film in which Diane Lane plays an FBI agent racing to catch a killer who posts his crimes on the internet. Was Sandra Bullock busy? This thriller has definitely been made before, but is suspenseful nonetheless.

Sylvester Stallone is back. In Thailand, John Rambo leads a motley crew of mercenaries up the Salween River to a Burmese village after getting word that a group of aid workers he assisted have gone missing. Obviously all in his path perish in this alpha male action flick.

Get a head start on the Oscar season and a smart-sounding recommendation by seeing this dark, brilliant portrayal of an oil-hungry businessman in turn-of-the-century Texas by cult director Paul Thomas Anderson (Boogie Nights). There will be awards in a country very much for old men of late, cinematically speaking.

This week's post-Christmas crop needs no cynicism from me, as the films speak for themselves. This one, starring Ice Cube, is a comedy about criminals who learn the error of their ways from the church parishioners they hold hostage. On second thought, this could become a fan favorite.