Last week, a motorist in East Hampton spotted a teenaged driver tossing trash out the window of his pickup truck at the Main Beach parking lot. The motorist called the police and gave a description of the pickup. Police were able to catch up with the teenaged litterbug, who agreed to go back to the parking lot and pick up the garbage. How you can throw garbage out onto the street in this day and age is beyond my comprehension.

A garbage truck driver miscalculated the size of his truck before driving underneath a railroad bridge in East Hampton. The roof of the truck struck the bridge and the entire truck became stuck underneath it, completely stopping traffic and looking quite comical. The East Hampton Butter Company was called in and, with a little butter and some paint brushes, were able to squeeze out the truck.

A woman in Montauk called police after somebody knocked on her door and left a burning bag filled with poop in front of it. She said that she noticed a white van pull out of her driveway. Interestingly enough, we used the term “poop” for this report because that is how she described it, which is also quite comical.

A lovebird was reported stolen from a pet shop in Wainscott. After the theft was reported to police, a boy walked into the store, confessed that he had stolen the bird and paid for it. No charges were made. However, the boy is very much in love with his new lovebird.

Two house alarms went off on Shelter Island last week. When police responded to each call they found no signs of breaking and entering and nothing appeared to be stolen. Also, a Shelter Island man got a speeding ticket last week.

The mayor of Sag Harbor called police after he noticed that a large modular house was parked in the middle of the road, blocking traffic. The owner of the house was seen standing outside on her front porch wearing nothing but a large pink robe and telling everybody to “get the hell out of my driveway!”

A man in Southampton was caught trying to steal a pair of pants by walking into a clothing store, trying on the pair of pants and then leaving his own pants with the clerk. However, the smart clerk quickly realized that the man had pulled a fast one. She found his wallet and his driver’s license in the pants and the police caught up with him.

A Hampton Bays man reported to police that somebody had stolen his credit card after his wife found over $2,000 worth of charges related to a Manhattan strip club on the statement. Sure buddy, stolen credit card, we all believe you on that one. What about the bus ticket into Manhattan? Was that a false charge as well?

Police Blotter