North Fork Talk

Corn, Boat, Farm, Fish Are The Four Letter Words That We Know Here

By Phyllis Lombardi

It’s enough to make a sailor blush. The way some people talk. But not North Forkers, of course. Young and old, they speak with the tongues of angels.

No, I’m referring to someone in New York’s capital city. A week or so ago, according to a daily newspaper, a certain elected gentleman (D) in Albany was so angry over a piece of legislation that he used THE WORD in a phone conversation with another elected gentleman (R). You probably read about it.

And, as North Forkers, you were probably shocked. True, we do know some four-letter words. Corn, boat, farm, fish, wine, are examples. But those others? Not here, that’s for sure.

I realize there’s precedent for the upstate indiscretion. Harry Truman’s salty language inspired “Give ’em hell, Harry.” And Richard Nixon had those tapes. Obviously we can’t always look to Albany or Washington for the verbal high ground.

Then where do we look? Here, right here on the North Fork. Here the seeker of soft answers, correct syntax and poetic phrasing, will not be disappointed. I offer in evidence several North Fork residents. Each is distinguished by remarkable restraint when distressed and, like Henry Higgins, “never could, ever would, let an insulting remark escape his lips.”

Meet Frank Roland. This Southold gentleman was born way west – in Brooklyn. He spent his youth there, soaking up its culture. Don’t raise that eyebrow. Brooklyn has gotten a bum rap. You’ll realize it when you hear what Frank says when he’s upset. “Don’t get excited.” That’s it. That’s all. No cussin’ and no fussin’. Frank says it to others and to himself when he does something foolish.

“Don’t get excited,” indeed. This from Frank who spent World War II in the South Pacific. An Army Captain, he saw it all in New Guinea, the Solomons, the Philippines.

“Don’t get excited” may very well have brought him safely home to Southold.

Then there’s Cutchogue’s Jack Hoffman who delights in chopping wood for his fireplace. I picture this an activity easily leading to indelicate language. Not for Jack.

Not even in the more than 25 years he worked as a trade and technical electricity teacher in the Lawrence School District and the Boces school in Bellmore. Know what that means? Thousands of teenage boys!

Talk to him today and he’ll tell you he’d instruct a youngster who spoke profanely to “take it to the sink – get rid of that word.” Generally the kid did. Respect for Mr. H.

And Mr. H. deserved respect if only for his World War II service. He spent long months in England, France and Germany (Signal Corps). After V-E Day, Jack was shipped to the Pacific and readied for another invasion. The one that didn’t happen. After serving in occupied Japan, Jack returned to Long Island and teaching.

Wait! You hear that chopping? Come to think of it, a guy with an ax doesn’t need a four-letter word.

And watch your language around Rusty Pesci, too. This New Suffolk gentleman also has a World War II history. A graduate of the United States Merchant Marine Academy in Kings Point, Rusty spent the war years on a Coast Guard icebreaker in the North Atlantic. He could have picked up a few four-letter words then – like cold and snow and fear.

Today Rusty admits to using one old standby when he’s angered – he’ll call someone a jerk. Most North Forkers will tolerate that although we’ll ask Rusty not to use it in public. Like at the Cutchogue Fire Department chicken barbeque or at Little League games. We’ve got our standards, Rusty.

In fairness, I should tell you that Rusty has a couple of other four-letter words he absolutely loves. Laces many a conversation with them. Golf. And Fran (his wife).

Not in that order, of course.

It strikes me now that my examples of propriety in North Fork language are all males. Perhaps this is effective in presenting a comparison with the Albany offender. But it does pose a serious question. What about North Fork women? They do an awful lot of talking. Might their speech be occasionally careless? Offensive? I certainly didn’t mean to give that impression.

Well, no use worrying now. It’s all water over the damn.