Totally Stoked

by Christian McLean

Benjamin Franklin once said, “A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body.” While I cannot help you with the food, maybe I can get your hearth going and once your fire is burning brightly, warming the mind will be easy.

For many, getting a roaring fire going in front of company is a daunting task that ranks up there with public speaking. Nothing’s worse than trying to impress a young lady with a roaring fire, only to spend forty-five minutes trying to get the fire hot while your date turns ice cold. The same can be said of the unmistakable shadow of an over-scrutinizing father-in-law lurking over your shoulder, telling you that you are doing everything wrong (including being married to his daughter) while you strike match after match in hopes that this one will work.

The easy way out is an artificial log, but let’s be honest, that fake paper log neither looks nor smells like an inviting addition to the room. To make matters worse, it doesn’t even throw that much heat. It’s simple, quick and no-fuss. But that’s about all it is.

To create a real fire with real wood, here’s what you do. You’ll need to procure wood. If you want to have something in common with George Washington (which you probably don’t) you can chop the wood yourself, but then you’ve got to wait for the wood to season (dry out) and this usually takes a year, which is great for next winter, but does squat for your dinner party on Friday night. An easier method is to flip to the Service Directory of this paper and look for someone that sells seasoned wood. They’ll usually deliver it to your house, so all you have to do is find a nice, dry place to stack it.

A dirty fireplace not only looks unkempt, but is a hindrance when it comes to a proper fire. Remove all the ashes using a hearth broom and small shovel. (Do not use a vacuum as there is a chance the particles will be too small for the filter and will be pumped into the air, making a huge mess.) A clean hearth will keep airflow unobstructed because a pile of ashes prevents updraft (air pulled from underneath the fire). Since fire is fueled by oxygen, open the damper half-way (reach up the chimney and you will probably find the handle). With the damper open, “draft” is created, which will suck the smoke and gases from the fire up the flue to the outside and pull new air into the fire, keeping it burning strong. (If you leave the damper closed, the smoke will come out of the fireplace and fill the house - not exactly the ambiance you are looking for.)

Now you are ready to build the fire. Bunch newspaper and stuff loosely under the fire grate (the metal thing you place the wood on). Use sticks, twigs, and small pieces of wood as kindling. Be generous when stacking them in the center of the fire grate. Next place a piece of seasoned wood on each side of the kindling, running from the front of the fireplace toward the back on a slightly converging angle. The ends at the back of the fireplace should be closer together then the ends at the front. Span these two pieces of wood with two or three more pieces of seasoned wood (run them perpendicular). This creates a firebox. This firebox is a highly efficient burning machine that forces the heat of the fire into the room. (If you have a larger fireplace, you can make the firebox wider and higher as long as you adhere to the same principles and are not reckless.) Remember to always cover the opening of the fireplace with a screen.

When lighting the fire, twist a piece of newspaper and light it, holding it up toward the top of the fireplace. This will help heat the air trapped in the chimney, pushing the cold air out and helping create draft. Use that piece of paper to ignite the rest of the newspaper.

When to light the fire is your choice. You can either leave it until company comes and show off your skills or you can get it going before they arrive, filling the room with the delightful warmth of a winter fire. As for your mind, the possibilities are endless with a roaring fire