Drinking from the Fountain of Youth

by Victoria L. Cooper

There are many myths surrounding the “Fountain of Youth” and whether Juan Ponce de León’s quest to find its waters was a failure, as many have said it was. Are they really all fairytales? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if such a fountain existed? We could eagerly drink from the waters and with its sparkling magic, watch as the years dropped away. Certainly, this gleaming stream of youth has not been found yet (it’s been speculated to be located in Florida, perhaps that’s why people go there to retire?) but take heart! Here at Dan’s Papers, youth is in stock. I’ve compiled a nice list of ways to keep vigorous and young at heart from the employees here who are not only healthy, but look fantastic, too.

Dan Rattiner, Publisher and Editor in Chief, does stretches every other day and walks twenty minutes on the treadmill everyday, except when he doesn’t. He watches TV while he walks and usually has to TiVo the end of an episode that he has gotten caught up in. David Lion Rattiner, North Fork Editor and Managing Editor of The Montauk Pioneer, eats a lot of ice cream. He prefers Ben & Jerry’s but, Häagen-Dazs comes in at a close second. Robin Feman, Managing Editor, keeps her antioxidants at high levels by eating copious amounts of broccoli and tomatoes. She tries to maintain a diet rich in Omega-3 fish oil, by eating a lot of sardines.Yummy.

Sabrina Mashburn, Associate Editor, exercises at least an hour a day, drinks plenty of water and moisturizes as much as possible. She likes to ride her horse Oreo too. Nicole Caruso, Production Director, drinks milk and indulges in 100-calorie packs of Doritos to help preserve portion control. Gen Salamone, Production Assistant, brushes her teeth a lot and drinks lemon water to help rid her body of unnecessary toxins. Ice cream, TiVo, cookies and sardines……keeping healthy on the East End is not so bad after all.

Linda Braverman, Art Director, walks with her four-month old daughter, Julia, sails with her husband and only eats cookies at work. Joel Rodney, Graphic Designer, moves plates at a gym in Hampton Bays. Gus Gomez, Graphic Designer, plays basketball. Kelly Merritt, Associate Art Director, takes Women’s One-A-Day vitamins. She also takes long walks with her dog, Suzie. She’s a Pisces. Jay Dadarria, Traffic Manager, keeps a clean conscience. He believes that stress is one of the main killers. Right on.

Jim Best, Accounts Receivable, goes on trips to the Caribbean as much as possible. Toniann Esposito, Bookkeeper, keeps a good sleeping schedule. Tom Swinimer, Distribution Manager, doesn’t eat much and when he does, he enjoys a fine Yodel. Christina Okula, Front Office Assistant, eats yogurt and fruit for breakfast. Joan Gray, Assistant to the Publisher, takes relaxing hot mineral baths and keeps a strict facial regiment. She also prays for peace.

Kathy Rae, Advertising Sales Director, eats salmon and swears by John McCann’s steel cut Irish oatmeal. She also recommends reading You On A Diet by Dr. Oz. Eileen Dermody, Assistant to Sales Director, stays very busy and eats salad much as possible. Lisa DeLisi, Display Sales Executive, plays poker and drinks a lot of orange juice. Catherine Ellams, Display Sales Executive, eats whole grains and apricots, which are very high in vitamin A and practices Pilates. Jean Lynch, Display Sales Executive, does an hour of cardiovascular exercise every morning and practices strength training four times a week. Tom W. Ratcliffe III, Display Sales Executive, takes MegaMen Vitamins that contain antioxidants, B vitamins and no iron. Annemarie Davin, Display Sales Executive, breathes and laughs a lot. She prefers mustard over mayo and tries to park far away from where she’s headed to get in some quality exercise. Maritza Smith, Display Sales Executive, drinks 80 oz. of water daily, avoids red meat and has applied petroleum jelly under her eyes since she was thirteen. Maritza also takes salmon oil and acidophilus vitamins to make her skin glow. Jim Smith, Display Sales Executive, stays organized and on top of his game. Janine, Sales Associate, drinks seven Super Big Gulps from 7-Eleven before noon each day. The sales department really knows how to seal the deal on youth.

T.J. Clemente, contributing writer and delivery man, doesn’t cut his hair and doesn’t try to fight the clock – to feel younger he just dates older women. Personally, I don’t drink caffeine. I try to keep my energy levels in balance and my sleep schedule stable.

After reviewing these basic guidelines for keeping fresh and fit, it’s important to remember that anti-aging goes deeper than food and exercise. You’ve got to “think young” and keep faith that if the Fountain of Youth does exist, maybe it’s right here in the Hamptons.