Police Blotter

By David Rattiner

Dog Statue

A dog statue, one of two, was stolen from a front porch in East Hampton. There was no sign of forced entry. The statue of the dog was estimated to be worth around $1,500. Looks like a job for Ace Ventura, Pet Statue Detective.

Boat Broke

A man winterizing his boat in Sag Harbor reported that somebody broke into it and stole items on board, including electronic equipment and a pair of expensive binoculars. The man is no longer going to winterize his boat at the yard.

Cell Phone Charger

A woman reported to police that her LG cell phone charger was stolen, worth an estimated $50. She gave police the name of the person whom she thought stole it. Nobody is too certain why a $50 LG would require a $50 charger.

Strike In The Head

A man was struck in the head with a banana at a bar/restaurant in Sag Harbor. The man reported that he believed the suspect was, and we quote here, "Bananas."

Not Welcome

A group of cats in Montauk has reportedly found a small home by a garbage dumpster at a Montauk restaurant. The cats have drawn complaints and it's not the meowing that is the issue.

Stealing

In Southampton, a man was caught stealing from cars after police received an anonymous phone call. The man was caught stealing a handbag and credit cards from the vehicles.

Fake ID

A man gave a fake ID to a police officer after he was caught drinking and driving. The clever man just ended up getting charged with DWI as well as false impersonation after the officer discovered the ID was fake.

Crashed Into Police

A woman in Southampton crashed into a police vehicle while driving along County Road 39 at 2 a.m. Prior to the collision, she nearly struck a police officer and a pedestrian. She fled the scene and was caught by police hiding in her bedroom and was subsequently arrested. For those of you who don't know, crashing into a police officer and then thinking you can drive off and hide is very, very dumb.

Open Beverage

A man was consuming a beer in the middle of the street in Hampton Bays. He had just bought the beer from a local supermarket and decided to crack it open and take a swig. He was observed by a police officer and was arrested.

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