| Issue #38, December 14, 2007 |
Police Blotter
Beach Cam Caper
Somebody used a chainsaw to cut down Jimmy Minardi's beach cam that allowed people on the Internet to view the ocean in East Hampton. Anybody with information on who cut down this camera can contact East Hampton Village Detective Scott Aldrich at 631-324-1026 or by e-mailing him at detectivealdrich@gmail.com.
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Speeding Through School
A man in East Hampton was caught driving 40 miles per hour in a school zone. When he was pulled over, he tried to explain to police that he was trying to get his son to school on time. He received the ticket, but his son managed to avoid detention.
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Flat Screen
A flat screen television was stolen from a private residence in Southampton. Legislators and State officials are considering making this crime punishable by the death penalty during the NFL football season.
* * * Tomato
A man in Sagaponack reported that while he was driving, somebody threw a tomato at his car. When the man stopped to see who threw the tomato, he couldn't find anybody suspicious. Ironically, this is not the first time the man has had a tomato thrown at him. Twice a week in Manhattan, the man has been doing stand up at a comedy club, but with not great success.
* * * Wrist Watch
A man in Quogue reported that his casio electronic wristwatch had been stolen. It is estimated to be valued at negative $11.
* * * Addiction
A group of friends in Sag Harbor are relieved to find out that their friend has not gone missing. They became concerned because for the past month she has not been answering her phone or returning e-mails. It came as a relief to find her inside of her home, addicted to watching episodes of the hit television show "A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila" and "I Love New York." There have been new reports that her group of friends have gone missing.
* * * Further Addiction
A teenager has locked himself inside of his room for the past three days playing his xBox 360 video game system. His parents are considering shutting off the power inside of their home.
* * * Good Neighbor
In Southampton, three teenaged boys were caught by police hanging out in an abandoned house and arrested. The police were alerted to the teenagers when a neighbor called. The teenagers are upset that their clubhouse is off limits.
* * * Marijuana
A 21-year old man in Southampton was arrested after he was found to be in possession of marijuana. The man claimed that he had just quit the day before, and that he forgot that he had left a marijuana cigarette rested on top of his ear.
- Written and Compiled by David Lion Rattiner
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