Dan's Papers - December 14, 2007 - Mike Vilensky's Mini-Movie Reviews

A myriad of burned bodies filled Washington Square Park for the filming of this futuristic science fiction action film, hindering the path to my classes freshman year at way too early an hour. The movie turns Manhattan into a wasteland of zombies who attack at night, as Robert Neville, played by Will Smith, is the only survivor of a biological attack. Will Smith would be the only survivor of a biological attack!

An ineffably cute indie film in which a high school hipster realizes that sarcasm, wit and good taste in music can't get one through a life-changing ordeal like teenage pregnancy. Michael Cera co-stars as the boy who knocked her up in this dark comedy, quickly becoming a teenage favorite.

A thirteen-year-old aspiring writer with a taste for malice irrevocably changes the course of some lives when she accuses her older sister's lover of a crime he did not commit. Based on the best-selling Ian McEwan novel and with the beautiful Keira Knightley in tow, I have nothing negative to say about this one (so the review will stay short).

A young, endearing girl in an actual parallel universe takes a trek through her world to save her best friend, whom she fears has been kidnapped by a powerful organization. Nicole Kidman stars in this stunning fantasy film, which has taken some heat for an alleged anti-Church undertone, vehemently denied by the filmmakers, but early reviews haven't looked upon it fondly.

Ryan Gosling proves his chops once again as one of the most talented young actors in this comedic/sad/touching film about a man so afraid of loss that he takes on a plastic lover. The compassion of his small-town tries to guide him from the brink of insanity and back into the vulnerable arms of a real girl, avoiding clichés and adding sentimentality without getting saccharine.

A remote town in Maine is consumed by the deadliest fog ever, which not only impairs driving but also unleashes enormous insects, a multitude of slimy tentacles and blind religious fanaticism, among other things. Keep your brights off for a scary take on a weather phenomenon that I already find sort of terrifying.

Though it's difficult to think critically about a movie this forgettable, I will attempt to for the sake of journalism. Half-stealing the themes and storylines of Dicken's Oliver Twist and adding a red-haired, side-burned, cowboy Robin Williams, the filmmakers have forgotten character development and plausibility, though they will at least make you feel warm and fuzzy for a few minutes.

Despite the guns and bloodshed, don't expect easy thrills from this dark Coen Brothers film, which is far smarter than any average thriller and will have you thinking about its well-shot, silent images for days afterwards. It tells the tale of one psychopath's pursuit of illegally-garnered and accidentally-discarded money, as absolutely no obstacle man, animal or the film studio's need for a happy ending stands in his way.

A young man under the knife becomes conscious of his surroundings while still under the influence of anesthesia, and finds a far more life-threatening issue than his doctors discussing golf. Unable to make others aware of his semi-consciousness, his pretty wife, Jessica Alba, is left to play with his fate in this suspenseful albeit ridiculous drama.

Angelina Jolie is back to bad girl as a seductive demon avenging her daughter's defeat in conquering the Danes. A weird scenario, perhaps, but this special effects heavy motion-capture animation project, based on an epic myth, manages to be at least ambitious and eerie.