Dan's Hamptons

At first sight, college frat parties come to mind when you pull up to Tugboats North Sea House, located on 1271 North Sea Road in Southampton. There are neon beer signs in the window, a plethora of tiki lights, plastic tables and chairs, and some magenta tube lighting placed recklessly around the deck. And there is, of course, the miniature signature tugboat, the “mascot” for the affectionately nicknamed owner (a.k.a Chris Mackin, a longtime vet of the Hanson House in Southampton), which sits at the edge of the road. There is even a “Watch for Children” street sign directly adjacent to the deck, and for good reason!

I went there with my friends Nedda and Tom this past Sunday and we were blown away by the food – the Sunday night TV we watched while dining completely sealed the deal. We even ended the evening playing pool and vintage arcade games. Nedda said, “For the first time in years, I had a truly gratifying dining experience, at the most reasonable prices. There are all sorts of interesting and fun things to do, see, and read. It’s truly an enjoyment for adults and children alike! You can read rare books, listen to live music, or go to Arts and Crafts Sundays with the local artists and their children.” Tom could not stop talking about the buffalo wings. “They were not your typical buffalo wings. They weren’t soggy, they had the perfect crispiness to them and the most exceptional flavoring and sauces.” As for me, I actually ordered a plain old hot dog, which came out with four different delicious sides and all the fixings.

In addition to our order, head chef Joe Piazza brought out even more plates for our tasting pleasure. First, we tried the shrimp scampi which had a very light sauce that was creamy enough to make you feel naughty but not gross, and shrimp topped with fresh diced garlic. We also had chicken marsala, which for those of us who were not mushroom lovers, was a born-again experience. The sauce alone should be bottled like hot sauce and applied to any meal in need of a warm, healthy, hearty touch. The meatloaf was perfect, not overcooked, and served with string beans and fresh, diced garlic on top. The London Broil was just the right color pink and served with a baked potato with a delicate but effective amount of coarse sea salt and butter. And for those of us that like a little something fried once in a while, they serve a Bass Ale beer-battered cod and clam strips plate with a cocktail sauce that has the consistency of ketchup and a serious horseradish kick. YUM! You can order classic favorites like pizza, grilled cheese and BLTs. And for the mom on a diet, there is also a classic, grilled chicken Caesar salad.

The ambience is perplexing, but that is the beauty of the place. You can imagine it how you want it to be, and it sort of adapts to that image. As Tugboat himself likes to describe it, “It’s like being at your cool friend’s house after school.”

The women’s bathroom stall has a chalkboard affixed to it with colored chalk to leave a note that won’t do permanent damage. There is also a bed-and-breakfast-style powder room area, where you can sit comfortably and retouch your makeup. Upon leaving the lavatory, you will find all sorts of fun, sensory objects from games and Star Wars memorabilia to posters and vintage books. It really is like being at a friend’s house, whose mom is cool, and allows you to play with all the cool stuff as long as you respect her home.

This is largely due to the owner, Tugboat. His presence is clear extremely accommodating from start to finish. Like a modern-day single father to all his patrons, his manner and tone set the unspoken rules of the “house.” You can play but you cannot disturb others. You can write on the stalls but only with chalk. You can watch TV, but you need to keep the volume at a decent decibel. You are cared for and guided throughout your playtime, and you get a healthy, hearty meal to boot. Where else can you enjoy the pleasures of your own home on a night out and feel like a kid again? Try Tugboats. You’ll leave with a smile, if you leave at all!