Dan's Papers -November 21, 2008 -

Rober Shiver, 54, a CEO of a security company, crashed his car head-on into another vehicle when he veered onto the other side of the road. It was 2:50 in the afternoon. He was driving his luxury Land Rover and had an open bottle of alcohol in the vehicle. Shiver blew above the legal driving limit of .08 for blood alcohol content. The two occupants of the vehicle that he crashed into had to be cut out of the vehicle on an East Hampton street. The passengers are expected to survive. The man was not charged immediately with a DWI, as blood tests are pending. The man blamed the entire crash on the sleeping pill Ambien, stating that he took two pills.

A man in Sag Harbor was caught red handed stealing a flat screen television in the middle of the night. A neighbor saw the man pull up in a van, take the television our of a home that he did not have permission to enter, and then drive off. Police caught up with the man, but did not immediately arrest him for burglary, as they are waiting to hear from the owners of the house to be sure that he was, in fact, stealing. The man blamed the entire incident on taking two Ambien sleeping pills, in the AFTERNOON, and that those pills were responsible for his behavior.

A man in Westhampton was charged after witnesses say he beat another man with a tightly rolled up Dan's Papers. Police found the man and put him in handcuffs, but he was not immediately charged, as police are awaiting to see if the fingerprints on the paper matched his prints. The man blamed the entire incident on taking two Ambien sleeping pills and that they were responsible for his behavior at the public park.

A man was spotted in Southampton holding up liquor stores for cash. Police caught up with the man, who was not immediately arrested because he had knocked out the liquor store owner, who could not point him out to police. The liquor store owner's testimony is pending. The man blamed the entire incident on taking two Ambiens that afternoon, to help with his sleeping, of course.

A man in Bridgehampton parked illegally in a handicapped spot. A traffic cop gave him a ticket. The man is fighting the ticket, claiming that his behavior was the result of taking two Ambien pills in the morning, so that he could get better rest.

A large Ambien pill, the product that is designed to help people fall asleep, was spotted walking through the Hamptons smashing store buildings and screaming at the top of its lungs, "Fight the man! Fight the power!" Police confronted the Ambien pill, which resisted arrest by police, and had to be taken down by a taser gun. The Ambien pill has not been charged yet, as police are awaiting a blood test to see if the pill had any Ambien running through it. We sure hope it doesn't get lost at the hospital.