|
| Issue #34, November 16, 2007 |
Police Blotter
Motorized Scooter
A motorized police scooter designed as a toy for young children valued at $300 was stolen from near the church in Montauk. The battery-operated bike was ridden during the Halloween parade in Montauk. Police have started an investigation and have responded to reports that a fat kid named Cartman has been rolling around Montauk, pulling people over on the electric bike and yelling, "RESPECT MY AUTHORI-TIE!!"
* * *
Wanted To Rent
A woman, who was asked to leave a room she was renting in Sag Harbor, broke into the same home last week after she was told she was no longer welcome. The owner of the house called the police and had the woman removed from the premises but did not press charges. The woman then simply asked if she could spend the night somewhere with four walls.
* * *
Shouldn't Be Driving
A guy was pulled over in Southampton for speeding, and after a computer check police determined that his license had been suspended sixteen times. Police told him that if it was fifteen, they might have let it slide. But sixteen is just way too much.
* * *
Tricksters
On Halloween in East Hampton a woman called police to report that her mailbox had been damaged. Other tricksters were reported throwing eggs at houses and spilling maple syrup on statues. One banana thought it would be funny to throw applesauce at a house. Police tracked down the man dressed up like a banana and brought him to justice.
* * *
Mailbox Damage
On the East End of Long Island, the official tally for mailbox damages caused on the night of Halloween is $33.32 million. "Now that's a lot of mailboxes," one official was quoted saying.
* * *
Spitter
A kid in Southampton had the police called on him after he was caught messing up a car and spitting in someone's face. When the spitter spat, the spitted on was quoted saying, "OH YOU JUST CROSSED THE LINE BIG TIME PAL!"
* * *
Sag Harbor Taxi
Two women got out of a taxi in Sag Harbor and decided that they were going to walk into the house they were dropped off at and not pay. When the cabbie called police, they arrived and knocked on the door of the house, to which they received no answer. The cabbie stiffers remain at large.
* * *
Bad Checks
A fisherman in Montauk reported to police that one of his customers wrote him several bad checks that came up as insufficient funds. If there is one thing you do not do in your life, is mess with a Montauk fisherman.
- Compiled and Written By David Lion Rattiner
Back to Contents
|
|
|
