Police Blotter

Accident

A car accident took place in Bridgehampton down the street from the Candy Kitchen. The cars involved were a Lexus SUV and a Honda Civic. The Civic crashed behind the SUV. No injuries were reported.

School Bus Whoopsie

A school bus with students inside, smashed into a parked car at East Hampton High School. Nobody was injured, but the vehicle involved received more than $1,000 in damages.

Mad Dog

A woman in Montauk reported to police that a man yelled at her after her dog went near the man and began to eat fish that he left laying out on the beach. The woman told police that the man then pulled out a knife and threatened her. She called police, who could not find anybody on the beach when they arrived. That is one very angry fisherman out there in Montauk. Chill.

Green Bike

A green bike was reported stolen, valued at around $458. It was stolen while parked in town in East Hampton. There were no reports of a hot pink bike stolen.

Hot Chili

A man on the North Fork began throwing hot chili at another man at a chili making contest. An argument broke out between to men, and one resorted to chili throwing after he became furious at how the other man talked about his chili. No charges were filed, but the victim of the chili throwing is demanding retaliation. He is hoping to be able to throw hot oatmeal at the man at a later date.

Shelter Island

.......cockadoodle dooo.......ribbit.......ribbit.......meow.......ruff...ruff......it's kind of cold in here, close the window......ribbit.

Paranormal Idiocy

Teenagers in Hampton Bays were caught sneaking into the new film Paranormal Activity over the weekend. The teenagers were caught after one was spotted by a movie employee going in through the back door of the theater.

By David Lion Rattiner

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