Police Blotter

GPS
A man reported to police that somebody stole his GPS tracking device from his boat amongst other expensive items that he left onboard. Police asked him why he took so long to report the incident to which he responded, "I got lost on the way here."

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Pool Banging
A man in Bridgehampton, who works for a pool company, was found having sex with his girlfriend inside a client's pool house. The resident called the police and stated that he did not have permission to go inside the pool house and no longer is allowed to clean her pool.

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Sunglasses
A man stole a pair of sunglasses from a store in Southampton and was caught by the owner who called police. Oddly, the man, who really wanted the shades, agreed to pay for them as police arrested him.

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No License Plate
A man was pulled over in East Hampton for driving without a rear license plate. When police went to ticket the man, they found him to be highly intoxicated. He received two charges, a DWNLP and a DWI.

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BB Attack
A woman in Montauk called police after somebody shot at her house with a BB gun for the second time in less then a month. She has armed herself with a potato gun to retaliate if the BB attacks happen a third time.

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Threw A Bag
A man in East Hampton was riding his bicycle down the street when somebody threw a bag at him, hitting him in the stomach. The man reported the incident to police, who are investigating the incident based on the description of the vehicle. In the meantime, the man plans on giving the Prada bag to his wife for Christmas.

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Bicycle Theft
Somebody stole a statue of a bronze bicycle from somebody's Southampton property in late September. Police believe that the thief made a very slow getaway.

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Pot Boy
A teenager in East Hampton was charged with unlawful possession of marijuana after he was pulled over for driving on the side of the road twenty miles below the speed limit. Police told him to pull over onto the side of the row-add.

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Radio Deck
A man reported to police that somebody stole a radio deck out of his 1990 Mercedes Benz. He is considering purchasing a CD player.

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Young Drinkers
Police responded to a call in Sag Harbor about a group of youths who were standing outside and drinking alcohol. When police arrived at the scene, the youths had already moved on to another tree house, or basement, or what have you.

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Now That Is Drunk
A man drank so much last weekend that he fell asleep right in the middle of Main Street in Sag Harbor. Police woke the man up and escorted him home.

- Written and Compiled by David Lion Rattiner

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