Dan's Papers -September 25, 2009

Many changes have taken place at the Hampton Weather Center in the past few years, and we thought it might be a good time to go out there and visit with the new CEO, Sandy Jobs.

As you know, the Hampton Weather Center is that 44-acre complex deep in the woods north of Deerfield Road in Water Mill, where the dazzling weather we have in the Hamptons from April to December is regulated. Originally built as a scientific research base for the wartime government in 1942, the facility was converted to commercial use shortly after the war. This is its 64th year in operation.

The last time we visited the Center was in 2002, and a great deal has changed since then. Now you have to pass through heavy layers of security at the main gate-they have a whole building devoted to it-and then you have to be accompanied to the main offices by escorts.

What a surprise this year to find the new airy welcome center just beyond the entrance. The 60-year-old brick administration building constructed in 1949 has been torn down. Architect Robert A.M. Stern has designed a new facility of glass and steel that is pure poetry.

Inside, we were offered herbal tea, then taken to the seating area at the eastern end of the main space. The forest, much of its greenery owed to the Center's efforts, was visible all around just outside. Meanwhile, inside, hung from wires, were black and white photographs of what the facility used to look like. These images were very familiar to me from my many visits over the years. Apparently, under the new leadership of CEO Sandy Jobs, everything changed.

Jobs shortly appeared. He looks very much like his older brother Steve, a slender fellow in his early 40s with close-cropped hair and a wry smile. He wears the same black turtlenecks and jeans as his brother.

He greeted me with a firm handshake, then swept me off on a tour of the place, beginning with a narrative about the old photographs and what he found when he took over the reins three years ago.

"This was a very labor-intensive operation," he said. "I'm sure you remember it. We had about 400 local men shoveling coal and constantly adjusting and readjusting the valves and furnaces to send up into the atmosphere tremendous amounts of chemical-laced steam."

"I do remember it," I said.

"It was a tricky business, all about trying to disperse cloud cover so the Hamptons would be bathed in sunshine as much as possible. When massive amounts of cloud cover would move in from the west, the men had to work overtime. But they did get days off with pay to make up for it when the weather from the west was clear."

"I recall they had a children's playground and a carousel. Also some pony rides," I said.

"Indeed they did. I wasn't here at the time, but I know there were many picnics out in the field there. The men were often able to modify the weather, and they were proud of it. Hampton Weather frequently received plaques and awards for good work from various Chambers of Commerce in the area."

"That photo is of Scottie McTavish."

"Yup. The foreman. Looked like Scotty from 'Star Trek,' and basically did the same thing as the other Scotty-he got this place up to full power and beyond."

"Retired. In Florida, I'm told, playing golf when he can-he's got black lung disease and the gout-and otherwise enjoying the weather."

"Which is much milder than here."

"Certainly is. They don't need to control it. Except when the hurricanes come, and those, frankly, are beyond the ability of any weather center that I know."

"I thought this was the only one," I said.

"It was the first. Now there are numerous weather control centers around the country, although I am not at liberty to tell you where. I really wasn't supposed to tell you that. It was just a slip."

"Let me take you out onto the grounds."

You could have knocked me over with a feather. Out back, all the old factories, with their smokestacks and coal silos, were carefully boarded up. Around them was a vast field of solar panels spreading along the ground for hundreds of yards in every direction, with some sort of computer building-another Robert A.M. Stern structure much like the one we had just come out of-in the back of it.

"Thirty-one acres of panels," Jobs said, waving an arm at it. "All computer-controlled. All taking in the sun's rays and storing them, then releasing them out of our 'heat bin' building beyond the computer lab there. Can't take you there on the tour, I'm sorry to say. Would have to dress you up in a heat-retardant suit to even get close to it. And it's not much to see - just a giant stainless-steel box with a louvered roof."

"I understand," I said. "But I have a question."

"How did this transformation take place? The old coal-fired furnaces provided heat and chemicals to disperse the clouds and rain over the Hamptons. If you shut that down before you got these panels in place, the clouds would close in and you'd have rain and fog and certainly no sunlight for the panels-or not much."

"We shut down the old, and brought in the new slowly and in stages. It took two weeks."

"My other question is this: What worked to disperse the clouds was overheated boron carbonite dust. How do the new solar panels dispense this material?"

"We don't," Jobs said. "Boron carbonite, as you may know, was found to be one of the dirtiest and greatest causes of global warming."

"We were never proud of that," I said. "It was just one of those embarrassing problems we had to contend with-like the rain that backed up over Patchogue all the time."

"Now it's all done with laser-fired static electricity. It's carbon-neutral. That was one of the discoveries we made here before we did the transformation."

"It's carbon-neutral?"

"Actually, it slightly reduces carbon in the atmosphere. We are currently working on tweaking it so it is a massive carbon reducer. We are very close and should have it in use by 2011."

"Does that mean you will be able to reverse global warming?"

"We hope to do that with weather control factories all over the world. That's why I left Microsoft to take this job. We think we will be able to solve the global-warming problem within five years. Laser-fired static electricity also makes it easier to control the weather. Here in the Hamptons, they used to lose control to the closing in of winter in November. We now have the ability to control the sunshine right through Christmas. At least most of the time."

Jobs waved a hand. "Its rocket science," he said.

"What's that little building over there?" I asked. There was a smaller Robert A.M. Stern building to the left of the new computer building.

"Administration and public relations."

"It's not very big."

"Just 11 people work there. My office is there. It's the same size as everybody else's office. Eleven people in administration is all it takes to run the whole place, plus 30 in border security, 10 in the lab and two in maintenance. That's it."

"That's about 340 people fewer than the staff that used to work here."

"We offered generous severance and in some cases, retirement with full medical benefits, new re-education career-training courses and job outreach."

"Want to go for a jog around the solar panels? It's 10k. Exactly. And the track is cinders. Easy on your feet."

"I didn't bring running shoes, unfortunately."

"What size do you wear? Come with me. We have every size."

We went into a weight room with a lap pool and hot tub, and he helped me find my size. Then we did two laps around the track, 20 jumping jacks and a 20-minute cool-down, had a massage and took a dip in the hot tub. After that, Jobs excused himself and said he had to get off to work, but that I could stay for lunch if I wanted. The cafeteria serves bean sprouts, lemon soup and fresh fish, he said.

But I had to get back to Dan's Papers to write this story. I was on deadline. And I was looking forward to some burgers and fries from Citarella's lunch counter next door. So I left.

What a place, and in the capable hands of Jobs. We are lucky to have him.