Dan's Papers - September 21, 2007

Are your trips to the loo bland and boring? No longer must we suffer with the plastic covered foam seat that makes that distinctive whoosh sound when you sit down. Today's toilet seats are practical, whimsical and unusual.

Clear lucite seats have become so mainstream even stores like Target sell a small variety. Toilet seats with clear lucite feature loose change, an aquarium motif with plastic plants and pebbles, and even tiny yellow rubber ducks can all be found at their Riverhead store.

If you shop online there is no limit to what is inside a clear lucite toilet seat. One "dangerous" style included razor blades and barbed wire; another featured nails, washers and screws. For the love of your life there is a pink lucite seat with big red hearts; and for the kids, blue lucite seats with silk multi-colored gerbera daisy blooms or primary colored dots inlaid make the bathroom fun.

Don't like blue light? Try the clear Galactika. It's is equipped with tiny ultra bright LED lights available in five colors including: white, yellow, red, blue and green. Power is supplied by four AA batteries located in an inconspicuous battery case that can be hidden on the backside of the tank, which last about a month. Again the lights come on when the seat is raised, but are brightened slowly until they reach full power after five seconds.

Another less obtrusive lighting option is the Johnny-Light, an easily installed, battery powered device that lights the toilet bowl at night and goes off when the toilet seat is down. The tiny light installs on the seat and the greenish glow in the toilet bowl reminds users to put the commode seat down and helps eliminate annoying fall-in. Try it at www.johnny-light.com.

Another bathroom problem is solved with self-lifting toilet seats. The ASC Elite Seat was originally created to help guard against Sars, Ebola, bird flu and other diseases transmitted by bodily fluids. This toilet seat is designed with a certain balance so that when the seat is put down, it will eventually lift itself back up in about 45 seconds. Inside the seat's hinge, are liquid-filled chambers that causes the seat to lift back up, so the seat is always in an upright position. Great news for men!

I bet you didn't know you could get an environmentally friendly toilet seat. Try bamboo. Bamboo makes a beautiful and sustainable toilet seat and is available in several finishes. Bamboo is a great alternative to wood seats, because it is durable and naturally anti-microbial. Get them at www.rensup.com.

Want a luxury throne? Get a heated toilet seat from the fashionable Kohler. Heated toilet seats are warm and comfortable with heat never exceeding 104 degrees. This easy to install seat is ready to go in minutes and plugs into a grounded outlet. Keeps you cold during those long winter nights.

But what about odors? Try the Brondell Breeza Odor Eliminating Heated toilet seat to eliminate embarrassing bathroom odors. The Brondell will leave the bathroom smelling like fresh flowers when you make your graceful exit. This smart toilet seat, actually detects when a person sits down and turns on automatically. Then its integrated ultra-quiet intake fan captures odors at the source and the contaminated air is purified through an odor absorbing activated carbon replaceable filter and pushed through a replaceable fragrance vent. It removes up to 95% of odors! Perfect for couples.

The most unique innovation in the potty world is the Fish 'n Flush toilet system (www.fishnflush.com). This two-piece system features a tank that does double duty as a two gallon aquarium and a blue resin toilet seat with multicolored plastic fish inlaid. This comes as ready for fish and flushing as it includes rocks and artificial plants!

If all of the above is too high tech for you, decorate your toilet for the seasons with old-fashioned toilet tank covers, matching rugs and toilet seat covers - bring back bathroom shag. At www.terrysvillage.com, there is a huge selection of holiday themed covers. Think Santa at Christmas, Easter Bunny in spring. You can even make the tank a turkey and the seat cover his giant plate of pie for Thanksgiving; or for 4th of July the seat cover is Uncle Sam's head and the matching rug is his body! Old school fabulous.

From toilet seats that function like a bidet to heated seats to LED lights, the funky new options in toilet seats are sure to make your bathroom the most happening place in your home.