Dan's Papers - September 12, 2008 - To Speed Up Pace of Play

Legend has it that one fine autumn day, a foursome of golfers consisting of a stockbroker, a lawyer, a dentist and a casino host emerged on the 17th hole of their favorite club's course.

Having enjoyed the wonderful weather and their rounds played together, not one of them was prepared for the event that would unfold after everyone teed off. When the dentist needed to look for his errant shot, which had hooked well into the tree line, the remaining three golfers, each with a clean shot on the fairway, decided to assist their buddy in his search.

The lawyer happened upon another lost ball and before he could pocket it, a giant flutter of white dust appeared, and when it cleared, there stood a beautiful female apparition with blond hair, a span of wings on her back and a golden magic wand. The group was stunned. They had come face to face with the legendary golf fairy Glinda.

"Hi there," she said. "I am Glinda, the good golf fairy from the Land of Par, and I have come to see that your group is granted one special wish pertaining to your golf game. Is there a special wish I could grant you?"

Led by the attorney, the group huddled for a great deal of time before deciding on their one wish. Glinda became increasingly impatient with the inordinate amount of time the foursome was taking. Tapping her wand, she said, "OK, that's it. You guys have had one group of golfers on your tail all day during your rounds. You haven't kept up with the group in front of you, and, frankly, your manners are ticking me off! Each one of you takes four practice swings. Hello! This is not a driving range! Your cell phones have not stopped ringing and both groups in front and in back of you are sick and tired of listening to the first four bars of 'Mandy.'" With this last sentence, she pointed to the dentist. "Not one of you watches for the others' ball locations, and at the end of every hole it's apparent that you can't even do simple arithmetic to count your strokes.

"Your verbal scuffles about rules should be reserved for the 19th hole, at the clubhouse bar, and everyone can hear you on the next tee. To be perfectly frank, despite all of the technology in your bags that makes you think you can hit the ball farther, you can't! Not one of you should be hitting from the championship tees. What I see is just another group on the golf course that lacks common social graces and is totally narcissistic to boot."

The lawyer immediately stepped forward in defense. "We've decided, so get a grip on your wand, would ya'?" he said. "Our wish is that each one of us becomes a low, single digit handicap."

"That's not going to happen," responded Glinda. "Each one of you has no respect for time. You all epitomize the single most abused notion in the game of golf and your wish is undeserving."

"Oh, well, you didn't tell us there would be restrictions," quipped the casino host.

The good golf fairy was reaching the end of her fuse. "I have decided to grant you the wish that I see fit. So, for the benefit of yourselves as golfers and for others, I will make you learn what pace of play is, teach you to play ready golf and not meander during your golf rounds like a bunch of ole' biddies in a knitting group."

In one fell swoop, Glinda waved her wand over the group and, as fairy dust settled on their shoulders, the stockbroker looked up as if he had been hit with a sledgehammer and turned to his buddies, "OK, guys, let's pick up the pace and play - if you can't find your ball (referring to his partner) let's declare it lost, take the damn penalty and move on. We are already over the time limit on this hole, not to mention the entire round."

And for the first time ever, all four guys moved as if hit by a bolt of lightning.

With more and more golfers using the facilities of courses, it's important to understand what 'pace of play' means. We all know that the game isn't age or gender limited, and recognize there are many levels of the amateur golf game. Good, bad or tournament player, each one of us assumes a responsibility once we tee it up, not only to ourselves, but to others. One could say it's a form of community service.

What's wrong with golfers is that once they get on the course, they forget consideration, respect and often how to even play the game. When they get on the course, they freeze: "How did I hit that shot?" "What did I do wrong?" "How much is 200 minus 50 for yardage?" Or, "I can't see my ball when I hit it." All this takes too much time and effort. Above all, it distracts from the simple enjoyment of why you play the game.

Most directors of golf and PGA professionals deal with this problem each and every day. Tiger Woods has been pretty vocal about those players on tour whose methodical approach to every shot is eating time away on the professional rounds. John Daley has publicly been quoted and sums it up best: "Grip it, rip it and have some fun."

Lee Kaiser, the head PGA professional of Olde Vine Golf Club in Riverhead, expresses a deep concern about defining the pace of play. "Players should be ready to play as soon as it's their turn," he said. "You need to take your practice swings while others in your group are hitting, so long as it isn't a distraction and you need to keep your swing thoughts on the course as simple as possible. Work on making swing changes on the practice range rather then on the golf course."

Using your time wisely on the golf course is the best advice for any golfer at any level. Here are some tips on how to keep the game moving forward:

- Think about what will be needed before you go and examine your whereabouts. If that means taking six extra clubs from your bag to where your ball lies, so be it - just get yourself ready as your partners proceed.

- If you are a self- proclaimed rules official, please be sure to present your badge to your partners. I have yet to meet any amateur who can successfully recant all of the Official Rules of Golf Handbook, although I know many an amateur to profess his or her knowledge. Remember, you couldn't possibly know everything and you shouldn't need mulligans if you are so concerned about the rules.

- Try reading your putts and lining up as soon as you walk on the green. You don't have to wait until it's your turn.

- Do not hold up your group because you haven't finished the punch line of a joke that you can't even remember. Save conversation for when you move from one location to another.

All these suggestions can help, and it's never too late to realize that you do make a difference out on the course. Your actions and reactions cost others time.