Mike Vilensky's Mini-Movie Reviews

Mr. Bean's Holiday
Who knew Mr. Bean was still making movies? In this installment of the silly series, the bumbling American wins a free trip to the chic South of France where his video diary ends up at the Cannes Film Festival. Rowan Atikinson, who plays Bean, claims that this will be the last of the Mr. Bean movies, and it just might be the funniest in years.

War
Jet Li stars in this action thriller about an FBI agent seeking to avenge the death of his partner. If there is anything new that can be added to the East Asian ass-kicking for vengeance genre, this movie doesn't bring it. Just watch Kill Bill again.

Illegal Tender
A young Latino flees home to avenge the murder of his father and avoid the same fate. Aided by his mother, the boy's journey has him uncover some family secrets and end up in - Southampton. No, actually Puerto Rico, but my version is better.

The Nanny Diaries
Scarlett Johansen stars as an NYU student paying her education bills through a slightly less seedy livelihood than prostitution: babysitting city brats. Directed, oddly enough, by the "American Splendor" team, this modern, funny chick-lit adaptation could be this summer's Devil Wears Prada, which isn't such a bad film fate.

Dans Paris
No, not Dan's Papers, Dans Paris, which means "Inside Paris," where some of this French art house movie takes place. A heavy and heartbroken thirtysomething returns to his family's flat to mourn the loss of his girlfriend, while his hip carefree twentysomething brother beds a whole bunch of Parisian girlfriends. Despite all the flashy French New Wave references and techniques, this worthwhile film has a surprising amount of heart and a deep respect for family.

Closing Escrow
Many a Hamptonite will relate and laugh along with this mockumentary about the most ruthless and die-hard modern American occupation: the real estate agent. The bidding wars between three quirky families test marriages and the resolve of their agents, in ways only an East Ender might understand.

The 11th Hour
Does it make me a better person if I keep mentioning all of the environment - themed documentaries in theatres? It sort of makes me feel like one, so it will probably sort of make you feel like one as well if you go see this documentary, which I commend for not only explaining the problems caused by global warming but for also mentioning the possible solutions. "Green" celebrity Leonardo Dicaprio narrates, which is cooler than Al Gore, I guess. But the planet is (arguably) worth saving, so this informative documentary is definitely worth watching.

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