Dan's Papers - August 15, 2008 - Cleaning Lady From Ohio Hits The Hamptons

On the weekend of August 15-17, a professional cleaning lady from a small town in Ohio will be visiting the Hamptons and making the rounds to try to figure out what the Hamptons, as we know it, is all about. We need to be nice to her. She is 26-year-old Kate Bellamy from Batavia, Ohio, a town of 1,600 people. She's almost never been out of the state of Ohio, and she certainly has no idea what the Hamptons is. So it's our job to explain it to her.

Kate Bellamy is coming here for the weekend, all expenses paid by Dennis Lynch, a New York City filmmaker with a house in East Hampton who, along with his award-winning team, is making a full-length documentary about the Hamptons and me and my life in this place.

He's been following me around from event to event since April. And of course he's been going off to other events, to get the flavor of this place. Every once in a while, I've heard him say, "I wonder what somebody from Boise, Idaho would make of all of this."

After a while, that changed to Duluth, Minnesota, and now it has emerged full-blown as young cleaning lady Kate Bellamy from Batavia, Ohio. Dennis got her by asking a friend, one of his clients at USA Today, Gannett, to help him out by coming up with a suitable candidate. Welcome, Kate.

I met Dennis Lynch last autumn when I was writing a story on my laptop for Dan's Papers on Sagg Main Beach, and this handsome man in his late thirties came over to introduce himself. He told me that he was looking to try his hand at making a documentary about somebody, and he thought he had found his target.

"You," he said. "You're the King of the Hamptons."

And so, beginning in April, the spring, he began following me around with his camera. You may have seen him or one of his associates - several of whom have awards, including Emmys - filming me at various events and readings. I've been reading from my memoir, In the Hamptons, in locations all over the Hamptons, from the shores of ponds in Bridgehampton to the grounds of the Montauk Lighthouse, and he's been along sometimes. He's also accompanied me to an editorial meeting at Dan's Papers.

And then he's interviewed numerous well-known figures in the Hamptons I know including Pat Malloy, who talked to him about the yachting community, Billy Joel, who talked to him about the fishing community, Mercedes Ruehl, who talked to him about the arts, Alec Baldwin, who talked about fundraisers and parties, John Roland, who gave him the skinny on Westhampton Beach, and Chuck Scarborough, who talked about the traffic. Other interviews were done with Kim Cattrall, Christie Brinkley and others. He's also interviewed or gone working with some locals, including, last week, the mayor of Sag Harbor, who gave him a tour of that town. His intention is to capture the full range of the Hamptons, not just the "Entertainment Tonight" version. He's calling the film, which will be full-length and presented at film festivals, The King of the Hamptons. All together, so far, I think he's filmed more than 100 hours of stuff.

The weekend of August 15-17, Kate Bellamy will be with me sometimes and not with me sometimes, but all the time with Dennis, as we all get through that weekend with the finale of Bridgehampton Polo, various fundraisers, The Artists-Writers Softball Game and several other events. Kate will also be treated to a tour of Pat Malloy's 193-foot yacht, the "Intuition II." She'll attend a Guild Hall dance performance on Further Lane, take a ride over the Hamptons in a helicopter courtesy of Liberty Helicopters, shop on Main Street, get a massage at the Spa at Gurney's Inn, be a guest First Base Umpire at the Artist-Writers Softball game for a half-inning on Saturday afternoon, where she will be introduced by sports commentator Bert Sugar, go for a spin in a Ferrari courtesy of Manhattan Motorcars Hamptons, have Happy Hour at Cyril's in Napeague, eat dinner at Nick & Toni's and attend the Rock the Farm concert at John's Lane Farm in East Hampton late Saturday night. On Sunday, she'll go sunbathing at Two Mile Beach, take a dip in Dennis' pool to celebrate his upcoming birthday, and then fly off to Ohio - but not before answering the question, "So, what did you think of the Hamptons?" on film.

Dennis has not been wrong yet about anything. And what Kate takes back to her hometown from all of this, I guess we'll find out when King of the Hamptons premieres next year. Anyway, here's her picture. So if you see her, and you see a camera-person or a man with a hat with her, just smile and wave. Then just sign the release and you, too, can be one of the loyal subjects in the King of the Hamptons documentary.