Police Blotter

By David Lion Rattiner

Rock Throwing

Police caught a few kids in East Hampton throwing rocks at a house. The neighbors of the house called the police after they noticed the youths hurling stones into the house next door to them. The neighbors didn't know the youths, but police showed up and tracked them down.

The Ugly Truth

A boyfriend in East Hampton attempted to asphyxiate himself by eating a giant cardboard box of popcorn while being forced to watch the movie The Ugly Truth with his girlfriend. After several attempts, the boyfriend gave up and succumbed to watching the movie, but not after trying to gouge his eyes out with jellybeans unsuccessfully.

Shelter Island

You aren't going to believe this, but on Shelter Island something actually happened. In a very dangerous scandal, a fight broke out between two people living together. Apparently the male began growling at the female of the house when she tried to eat some of his food, he then began barking and then snapped his jaws dangerously at her and then...Wait a second, wait a second, oh wait, never mind, it was two dogs that had a fight, not two people. Our bad.

Terrible

A man in East Hampton has been charged with murder. David Soto, 41, slashed his wife to death after a domestic dispute and then attempted to kill himself. Police arrived after the woman's son called police. The killer is going to go to trial in East Hampton and is currently in jail.

Wine Slapper

A man from Wainscott was arrested after he shoved a woman and slapped wine out of her hand. The man was intoxicated during the incident.

Landlord/Tenant

In East Hampton, another slapping occurred, this time between a landlord and a tenant. The landlord of an East Hampton house became upset about unpaid rent and grabbed and slapped the tenant in the face and pulled her hair.

Theft

In Southampton, a report came through the wire that an intoxicated man was yelling at patrons of a bar after demanding that somebody buy him a drink. The bartender of the place tried to calm the man down, but the man ended up collapsing to the floor after apparently passing out from too much alchohol.

Back to Contents