By Dan Rattiner

DOWN IN THE TUBE

Paris Hilton was seen going down to the Southampton platform last Wednesday, but when she got there, she went back up. Media mogul Barry Diller was seen on the East Hampton platform with the new Newsday publisher, Charles Dolan. Is something brewing? President Hugo Chavez from Venezuela took the subway from Amagansett to Sag Harbor, according to the Secret Service, which followed him.

EMPLOYEE CAFETERIA GOES GREEN

The entire interior of the employee cafeteria in our Hampton Bays headquarters has been painted a variety of shades of green, to remind people to be environmentally aware. But fear not, the regular menu of burgers and fries, and hot dogs and fried chicken is still intact.

SUBWAY TUNNEL LIGHTING STILL A PROBLEM

A lighting system installed four weeks ago in the western half of the Hampton Subway system continues to malfunction. Beginning two weeks ago, the lights refused to turn off during the four hours when the service shuts down for the night. Workmen tried to fix it. Now the lights will not turn on. Trains will be delayed as a result because speeds have to be reduced to 18 miles an hour from the current 35 so that the motormen, using flashlights, can better see the track ahead.

SUBWAY TO FOXWOODS PROCEEDS

The planned subway line between Sag Harbor and Foxwoods in Connecticut continues to be dug, with the machines drilling away 24/7. This week, the tunnel end is under the North Fork and by next week, it will be under Long Island Sound. Due to a compromise worked out by the subway and environmentalists, the new subway tube is not to proceed on the sea bottom (as is usual with these matters), but 50 feet beneath it. Thus will fish be protected.

HAMPTON SUBWAY TO CO-SPONSOR ARTISTS AND WRITERS SOFTBALL GAME

The 60th annual Artists and Writers Softball Game will begin at 3 p.m. on Saturday, August 16, on the sandlot baseball field behind the East Hampton Waldbaums, and Hampton Subway is going to be part of it. At the end of the game, when the "player of the game" is selected by game organizer Leif Hope, Hampton Subway will award him or her a one-year free pass on the subway, the very same sort of pass we give our subway employees. It will be good for the whole year, unless the "player of the game" employee gets laid off.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL'S WEEKLY MESSAGE

Sometime next week, a freighter hired by the new African nation of Basinoba will arrive at the jetties in Sag Harbor so the government of that country can send divers down to the harbor bottom to retrieve nearly 400 million old subway tokens that the Hampton Subway sold them for use as their new currency two months ago. Back then, the freighter that received those tokens in the harbor sank under the load. This is a bigger freighter.

Look for the green, gold and silver flags flying from this ship, and give it a wide berth as you take your pleasure craft out for a ride at sea. A Basinoba salute to the sailors on board would consist of a raised closed fist - except for the pinky, which should point straight up.

Back to Contents