Dan's Papers - August 10, 2007

Dorothy had them in red. Cinderella lost one. Gene Autry and Roy Rogers slept with theirs on. Mr. Rogers wore them in his lovely neighborhood. We're talking shoes, boots and sneakers. In all sizes up to really big like Abe Lincoln's size 14.

Take a hike over to the South Fork and you'll see they have a big deal coming up. It's called Sneakers Del Arte. Now I know that sounds pretty fancy for us North Forkers but that's the way they do things over there.

I have to hand it to them- it's a great idea, really. On Saturday, August 18 they have this big benefit in Southampton. Both a live and silent auction, hosted by Ellen and Chuck Scarborough, that will raise money for Breast Cancer Research and Support on the East End. Then on Sunday, August 19 there's the 12th Annual Ellen's 5K Run, raising additional funds. What a weekend!

Now folks, usually run in sneakers. So of course sneakers will be auctioned on Saturday night. But not ordinary sneakers. Oh no. Sneakers autographed, painted, even sculpted, by people whose names you'll recognize. Like Billy Joel, Itzhak Perlman, Mercedes Ruehl, even Dan Rattiner.

This is all well and good. But I ask you. Was the North Fork even invited to this sneaker shindig? I know I wasn't and I wear sneakers all the time. Well, not in bed but that doesn't count. And most other North Fork people wear sneakers, too. Their footwear would be a valuable addition to the auction. I think I'll give Chuck Scarborough a call. There's gotta be room for North Fork feet.

Diane Kosciusko of Cutchogue, for example. She even categorizes her sneakers. She's got dirty old garden sneakers she keeps in her garage. Before she puts them on she shakes out the spiders.

Then there are her bathroom sneakers. For some reason Diane finds it necessary to go into the tub each time she cleans it. Those sneakers keep her from slipping as she washes tub and shower walls. (She does it every week. That's impressive.)

Finally, Diane has her "going out to dinner" sneakers. She's spent as much as $15 on these. Sometimes I think Diane's just careless with her money! Anyway, I'm going to ask Mr. Scarborough if he can use some of Diane's sneakers.

Or how about this? Sneakers generally are white, blue or black. But not the sneakers Chris Wruck remembers so fondly. Chris, who lives in Southold now, loved her Garden City sneakers - the red Keds she wore to Garden City High School. That was back a bit, Chris admits, when her shoe size was six.

"It was a happy thing to do," said Chris. The girls all wore different colored sneakers but those red Keds were her favorite. And not just in Garden City. Chris was a counselor at St. Regis camp in East Hampton. She recalls those sneakers taking her all over the South Fork.

Even today Chris has a pair of red sneakers. But let's face it. Lacing up is a nuisance. So she wears red Keds slip-ons. Comfortable and convenient, I'm sure. But I bet not as much fun as those Garden City reds.

Now meet my Mattituck dentist, Dr. Alex Boukas. I've never checked his feet because when a dentist approaches me I like to see what's in his hands. But I'm told Dr. B. always wears shiny leather shoes on the job. That's professionalism - and also helpful to the chair-bound patient. Leather shoes tap and squeak so you know when the dentist's only a drill away.

Yet Dr. B. keeps sneakers in his office. He puts 'em on after hours to go work in his garden - especially in his merlot grape vines. After harvest, the doctor's two sons, Stephen and George, wash their feet and stomp on those grapes. Really.

Unfortunately, Dr. B. has never offered me any of the resulting wine. I'd rather the wine than the Novocain. Maybe next visit.

Meantime, I hope Dr. B. never confuses his office with his mini North Fork vineyard. I'd hate to have him head towards me wearing his grape-stained sneakers and carrying a weed-whacker.

Well, that about ties up this sneaker saga. The North Fork is wanting and willing to help in the upcoming auction. All we need is an invitation. So when I phone Mr. Scarborough I'm going to be very polite. I wouldn't want to start off on the wrong foot.