Dan's Papers - July 25, 2008

There are new developments surrounding the story about the scarecrows on Route 27 and Town Line Road. And since Dan's Papers prides itself in publishing the most factual, up-to-the-minute breaking news, we feel it's important to set the record straight.

First, the scarecrows disappeared last Thursday, the day the story ran - very suspect. On Friday, one was found lying in the field, perhaps a victim of heat stroke.

Second, the scarecrows were in fact created by Peter Dankowski, a third-generation East End farmer. I learned that from Dankowski's daughter, Betty, who said her father rents that land. The reason for the scarecrows, despite my perception of them being a fashion statement, was that Dankowski is "trying to keep the damn crows out," according to Betty.

Third, new, young corn plants are coming up, and on Monday, more than a half-dozen crows were pecking among the rows. The scarecrows had not been replaced.

Betty didn't have an explanation for the downing of the scarecrows, and in fact, it was after my conversation with her Friday, on my way home, that I noticed the more chic of the two scarecrows prostrate in the dirt. I stepped gingerly over young plants in the field, trudging instead in the tractor treads. My gold patent leather loafers were besotted with dust, but that is a small price to pay for tracking down a breaking news story.

After seeing the scarecrow, I ruled out foul play. Like many models, this scarecrow apparently just got tired of being on his feet in the heat, although he refused to comment or answer my questions. However, the scarecrow was obviously dehydrated (it was close to 90 degrees that afternoon), and while I hate bringing up a touchy subject, I believe he is anorexic: He is stick thin. Hopefully someone on the Hamptons social scene will schedule a benefit for treatment of medical and mental illnesses in scarecrows.

On Saturday, I caught up with Dankowski himself, and learned more than one truth:

1. The scarecrows were down because Dankowski "had to cultivate the field." He added, "But I'll put them back up if you like looking at them."

2. The fashion choices for the scarecrow were arbitrary. "It was whatever junk clothes we had lying around." Ha! That's what all the fashionistas say when they arrive on the scene with perfectly messed up hair and a perfectly casual look contrived to give off that "I'm too cool to care" attitude. Dankowski did say they considered putting a dress or even a bikini on one of the scarecrows which was heartily encouraged by this writer.

3. The scarecrows were there to scare crows, and apparently, they were effective. "Yeah, I think it helped," said Dankowski. "Something helped - I'd like to think it was the scarecrows. The corn is growing out there."

This led to a discussion of crows, which, by many accounts, have grown in population on the East End. A few years ago, Susan Harder, founder of the Dark Skies Society, said that artificial illumination affects the life cycles of flora and fauna. In other words, homeowners who light up their property like landing strips at night are to blame for the proliferation of crows. According to Harder, crows tolerate night light. Owls and bats, which need to eat rodents and bugs, won't cross a lit path like driveway/walkway lights, porch light or floodlight beams. That limits their access to food, and thus, their propagation, giving crows a leg up on the food chain.

Dankowski talked about how the crows affect crops. "They're very destructful. It's got to the point that you can't grow tomatoes or musk melons in the field anymore. It'd be different if they ate the one they pecked, but they peck a hole in every one."

Dankowski had the scarecrows out when he first planted the field. He had planted corn on that spot before, and there were some old cobs lying around, and that's what first attracted the grackles and crows. Then the little corn started to come up at the same time the grackles were "first coming off their nests. It's a feeding frenzy," he said. "Now, the corn has outgrown them. But when it first came out of the ground, one swipe of their beaks pulled the whole plant right up." By the looks of things in the field Monday, they were at it again with the new, young plants.

Dankowski also believes the crow population has grown, and in addition to using scarecrows, he has another method of controlling the varmints. "I shoot about 250 crows a year, right on my farm." [Note: Dankowski is talking about farmland that is off the beaten track. He's not firing a shotgun on 27]. He also concurred that the crows have an effect on other wildlife.

"When I was growing up out here, my father and I would walk from the farm in Bridgehampton to Sagg Main with bird dogs. We'd get 10-12 pheasant just on that roundtrip. But that was back in the day when living was good," he said. "I mean, cripes, back then we had flocks of pheasant in East Hampton Village - there were 15-20 cocks. But the crows, that's why we don't have the little pheasants. When the adults leave the nest the crows pick the heck out of the eggs. Cripe, if you fall down and lie on the ground too long they'll peck on you."

Which brings us back to the fallen scarecrow. I can only hope that he will not fall victim to the very predators he has helped stave off. On Monday, when I spotted the crows amid the young plants, I did not see the scarecrow. And considering the soil was soaked by the rain and I was wearing sandals - well, you have to draw the line on putting yourself at risk to get a story.

However, it is imperative that all East Enders do their part to save the scarecrows. Save the corn. Save the pheasants. It doesn't involve a pricey benefit or hefty donation, but just one, simple action: At night, just turn off your damn lights.