Dan's Papers - July 27, 2007

Mailman
A man was caught stealing a mailbox in East Hampton last week. A witness watched as the man pulled up next to a mailbox in a black pickup truck, yanked it up and threw in the back of the truck bed. The witness wrote down the license plate number of the truck and called the police, who then got a name and address and charged a 17-year-old with petit larceny for the crime. There is no word yet as to why the criminal decided to steal the mailbox, but police are investigating whether there is an undiscovered black market for them.

Computer Trespassing
Here is a geeky one for ya. A man in Southampton was arrested after he was caught hacking into a local company's computer system and stealing business records and information. The man that was arrested received a felony charge for the crime. He has also been blocked by almost all of his friends on myspace.com.

Drunken Boating
A man was arrested after appearing to be intoxicated while driving a boat around Three Mile Harbor in East Hampton. The small, inflatable craft was pulled over by marine patrol. Police gave the man a sobriety test, which he immediately failed when he attempted to pat his head and rub his stomach at the same time and ended up splashing into the water.

Rib Sandwich
A man walked into a store in Sag Harbor and flagrantly waved a barbecued rib sandwich in the air in front of an employee and then shoved it down his pants and walked out the door without paying for it. The sandwich, which was pre-processed and sitting in a refrigerator, was valued at $2.99. An employee called the police and when the man walked out of the store, he was met by police and was charged with petit larceny. Nobody is sure if the man ended up eating the sandwich after it was down his pants. But there has been a rumor circulating that people at the scene of the crime were willing to pay him $5 watch him eat it.

Punched In The Face
A man in Sagaponack reported to police that he was punched in the face by another man for no reason at all and that, after he was hit, the puncher jumped into his car and took off. Police did not have any leads on the case and did not make any arrests, but nobody really believes that they guy that was punched in the face wasn't being a jerk in some way, shape or form.

Talking While Driving
A woman in Watermill was pulled over for driving while talking on her cell phone. When police pulled the woman over, she continued to talk on her cell phone. When police asked her to hang up the phone, she explained to the police that she was on an important call. It turned out that her ex-boyfriend, who was desperate to talk to her, was willing to pay for the ticket.

Montauk Madness
A man in Montauk was seen driving erratically at a beach in Montauk, which drew the attention of police. When the man was pulled over, police determined that he was under the influence of drugs and also found drugs inside his vehicle. The man was arrested, but not before asking officers if he could check the waves.