Dan's Papers - July 27, 2007 - Real Men Wear Aprons

Real men wear aprons. Well, that may not be true everywhere in this world, but it's certainly an accurate observation here on the North Fork. Read on and in a little bit I'll tell you all about our guys and the aprons they wear.

A good number of years ago I had considerable interest in men and none at all in aprons. Now, for better or worse, men have assumed their appropriate place while aprons have become important to me. I admit to wearing one every day.

So when Cutchogue's June Metzner told me what the Cutchogue-New Suffolk Historical Council plans for July 28-30 and August 4-6, I listened. They're holding an All About Aprons event on the Cutchogue Village Green. It's rain or shine. And it's free.

"Sounds like fun," I said to June. "Are you exhibiting any aprons for men?" Why that popped into my head I can only imagine. Perhaps I visualized my husband putting on an apron and washing dinner dishes.

Just who are the North Fork men who wear aprons? I set out on quite a respectable manhunt.

My first stop was a welding shop. I'm not even sure exactly what they do there or how they do it. Something about joining one piece of metal to another. Hot and dangerous. So protective clothing is absolutely necessary and that includes an apron.

Rick Gerstung, employed at Greenport's North Fork Welding for 15 years, is a real man, for sure. Yet he spent time talking about welding aprons - even let me hold one. They're heavy things. Guess they have to be, to protect from spark showers and stuff like that. The apron I held was made of split cowhide and you'd have to be a real man to wear it. Actually, the leather was beautiful and I thought it would make a great pocketbook. But I didn't tell that to Rick.

Now meet real man Jack Hearn. He's a Cutchogue guy but for years he lived in Connecticut where he owned three cheese shops. Retired, Jack occasionally gives talks/demonstrations on cheese - how it's made, its history, how to serve it. Then the best part. Jack lets the audience sample the cheese, crackers and fruit he brings with him.

North Fork audiences see Jack wearing a bib apron specially made for him by an admirer. Across the front of the bib are the words THE BIG CHEESE. Of course folks want their picture taken with a big cheese and Jack poses obligingly. Real men wear aprons and are kind.

Check out Craig Jobes, retail manager at Braun Seafood Company in Cutchogue. That place has been around a long time - since 1928.

Craig's worked at Braun's for 18 years and you'll recognize him by his apron. It's a long one, from his shoulders to the ground. That way, as

His aprons are made of heavy-duty nylon or rubber and to clean them you simply hose them. (I don't know if Craig takes off the apron first or just stands there and asks someone to aim the water at him - not a bad idea on hot summer days.)

The apron also serves as a protection from knives and other tools Craig uses as he prepares the fish for sale.

Does Craig have a favorite fish dinner? Yes, and its king crab legs served with lemon and butter, nothing else. You know, if Craig has an apron, I bet he washes those dinner dishes, too.

Travel to Riverhead to meet a whole bunch of guys who wear aprons. And they all work in one place - Home Depot. The real men there range in age from 18 to over social security and they come in all shapes, sizes and colors. What do they have in common? Why those orange aprons, of course. Hardware, plumbing, flooring. Doesn't matter. They're wearing aprons and looking good.

You get the idea. We've got hundreds of great guys on the North Fork who spend their days or nights wearing aprons. If you happen to be a male whose wardrobe doesn't include an apron, do something about it. It's easy. Go into town, maybe to a hardware store. Tell them what you want. Pull a few dollars out of your jeans pocket and then just go tie one on.