DOWN IN THE TUBE

J. K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books, was seen on the Sag Harbor platform. Our sources tell us she said she was on her way to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in East Hampton. Ace Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain was looking at the subway map by the token clerk's booth at the back of the Three Mile Harbor platform, apparently lost. Also on the subway were Alec Baldwin in East Hampton and Bill Gates in Montauk, who said he was looking for a retirement home in that town.

HALF OF SUBWAY SYSTEM IS STILL SHUT DOWN

The delay on the western half of the subway line, caused by the new double-decker cars on their maiden voyage tearing out all the lighting in the ceiling of the tunnels, is still not fixed. Over 4,000 light bulbs were ordered, but found not to fit into the old antique fixtures. New fixtures are on order and should be in shortly. Oddly, we found that the old, oddly sized bulbs are no longer being made. It turns out these bulbs never go out, and so there has never been a need to replace them since they were installed back in 1928.

YARD SALE JULY 8

The Hampton Subway will have a giant yard sale at the Montauk Subway Yards down by the railroad station in that town all day on Saturday, July 8. It will consist of nearly 4,000 light fixtures - many damaged, some fine, all antique. Light bulbs remain in some, and work. Others have shattered light bulbs and should be considered as antique items only. Also being sold are the remains of 10 double-decker railway cars, made in Sweden, all of which have severe damage to their roofs, but are otherwise new.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Jeanette Backulby of Hampton Bays, who is 53 years old and has worked all her life on the Hampton Subway as a maintenance person. "They used to call us the cleanup ladies back in the day," she said, as she cut the cake at Subway Headquarters. "But that was then, before women's lib."

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL'S WEEKLY MESSAGE

We regret the further delay of the reopening of the western end of the Hampton Subway between Bridgehampton and Eastport. The new lighting should be in shortly. We are installing a special new lighting system in the tunnels that will save energy. The lights on the tracks will go on only when a train is within a 100 feet of a particular lighting stanchion, and then it will go off five seconds after the last car passes. We do not need lighting in the tunnels when the trains are not going through. And those on the trains won't notice the difference. We expect this will halve our electric bill. The lights will be on all the time on the platforms, of course.

I have, by the way, already bought two of the damaged antique lighting fixtures, and after having a workman bend them back into shape, have installed them on either side of the front door of our oceanfront home in Southampton. They work perfectly. And they make a perfect partner to our front doorbell, which, when you press it, makes the sound of an oncoming locomotive.

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