Dan's Papers - June 26, 2009

I know very few people who do not have a swine flu story. Lately, just about everybody has sneezed, and then suspected that they have the swine flu. The other day I had this conversation, "I need to drive myself to the hospital - I think I have the swine flu."

"Don't you think that if you had the swine flu, you wouldn't be able to drive?"

"I'm pretty sure this is the beginning of it."

And we wonder why this country has such health care problems? People are so easily terrified. The number of people getting sick worldwide from swine flu and actually dying from it is so small that it's ridiculous to make such a big thing of it, and it's all the media's fault.

But I felt a little woozy the other day.

After a solid week of teasing people about how they thought they had the swine flu, I felt a headache come on, and remembered from one of my conversations with a friend, that headaches are a symptom of swine flu. Then I felt tired.

Thankfully, I'm still here, but being kind of a hypochondriac is a good thing I guess. It's good for karma - that's what it all comes back to. If I didn't worry about it, then it would happen. You better knock on wood for the sake of karma.

What should scare me more is this rain we've been having - it is just so depressing. The rain makes you feel tired and under the weather and gives you headaches. Whenever it rains, I can tell that my body just doesn't quite feel right.

Alright, you get the point.

More than anything this summer, having to wait in long nightclub lines is completely "out." I think it has something to do with the economy, but this year I feel no sense of coolness if there is a line anywhere. I don't even feel cool if I can cut the line this year. The rule of night spots in general seems to be, even if the place isn't busy, to make a line form outside so that psychologically you feel good when you get into the place, but thanks to the economy, nothing feels good about being abused when you're paying good money to be somewhere that acts like they don't want you.

This psychology stems all the way back to the "don't act interested" logic when it comes to seduction. Women in general seem to love guys that don't act interested in them - the same is true for people that like to go out at night.

But it seems to me that this is changing, as many people I know who used to do anything to get into a nightclub, are opting for other places that are more casual and relaxed. The ironic thing about this is that the same amount of money is generally spent because they feel they are getting a deal by not paying a cover charge at the door, so they are buying more when inside.

Wouldn't it be great if the guys that have mastered the art of not acting interested and winning the attention of all the girls experienced a reversal? Then there would be justice in the world, or at least for the guys who still haven't figured out how to pick a girl up at a nightclub, let alone get into one. It all comes back to karma I guess.