Dan's Papers - June 29, 2007 - The Lobster Experience

The date is set and somehow you managed to get yourself into cooking a homemade meal. Hot dogs and hamburgers probably aren't going to impress anyone and your cooking skills are limited. Before you call for takeout and try to pass the gourmet food off as your own, try cooking lobster at home with that special someone. Even if cooking lobster may not be as much fun as having someone else do it, at least it's interactive and shows effort on your part.

When it comes to a lobster dinner, you want to be prepared. That means knowing what type of lobster you want to buy - soft-shelled or hard-shelled. Hard-shelled lobsters tend to have firmer meat, while soft-shelled lobsters may have more water and less meat in proportion to body weight. However, soft-shelled lobsters can be sweeter and are easier to break apart.

But before you go spending anywhere up to $16 a pound for lobster, since the prices are high due to a low supply and high demand, make sure you have a five-gallon pot to cook the lobsters in. If you have a smaller pot, don't worry, you can just cook the lobsters one at a time. The general rule when it comes to cooking lobster is that you need three gallons of water to cook four one and a half pound lobsters. Once you have the pot to throw the lobsters in, you have to set the dining table with lobster eating accessories.

A well-prepared table (I'll leave the romantic and mood altering touches to you), will have lobster crackers on top of the napkin, next to the forks and knives and maybe a lobster scoop and pick if you want to look like a lobster eating expert. A separate large and small metal bowl for each person will come in handy as the smaller bowl will be used to dip the lobster into melted butter and the bigger bowl will be for the carcass.

However, chef and dining host beware, cooking and eating lobster is going to be messy. So make sure to purchase bibs for the lobster eating experience as well as moist towelettes to wipe your hands after the meal. If you don't want to act like you're in a restaurant, I guess you can just get up and wash your hands in the sink. But the bibs are crucial, especially when you're dressed to impress.

Before eating a lobster you should also know the easiest way to take it apart. The first step in removing lobster meat is to remove the tail from the rest of the lobster's body by bending it backwards. Then snap out the flippers and push the meat out of the shell by using the utensils you just purchased. Twist off the claws and then crack them open with the lobster cracker. Next, take off the legs and suck out the meat if you'd like. Now crack the body of the lobster open sideways to remove any excess meat.

Boil, steam, grill or bake the lobster for ten to fifteen minutes, depending on your preference. It is very important to keep an eye on the lobsters as they are cooking because overcooking will result in tough meat. If all goes well, the lobster shell should now be red, the meat should be a firm and white and the two front antennae should be capable of being pulled out easily. After taking a boiled lobster out of the pot, let it sit for a while to get some excess water and moisture out. You don't want to crack into your lobster and have water explode all over your date.

Lobsters can also aid you in a magic trick. While the two of you are cooking, before putting the lobsters into the boiling pot of water, take one out and show off the hypnotizing lobster trick. Simply place the lobster vertically on its head with its tail curled down. Then rub the lobster up its back and down its tail. After a few strokes the lobster will be out cold and you will look like the Lobster Whisperer.

For those of you who are really hungry or if the date isn't going well, just skip the trick and throw the lobsters in the pot. Wait for them to cook and then pull them out and take the bands off. It's important to take the bands off of the lobster after they are cooked, or else a fun night of eating lobster may be turned into a trip to the hospital.