Dan's Papers - June 19, 2009

It's easy to be cynical about Father's Day, seeing the occasion, like Valentine's or Mother's day, as yet another commercial creation designed to guilt people into spending money and buying cards that are read and promptly tossed.

But it's just as easy to be sentimental about it, and to be grateful to have a day set aside to honor the man integral in bringing you into the world.

There are two theories on the origin of Father's Day. One is that it was the brainchild of a woman named Sonora Smart Dodd, who was inspired by a Mother's Day sermon she heard in Spokane, Washington in 1909. When Dodd was very young, her mother died and she was essentially raised by her father. As a result she wanted to honor him and all fathers on a special day. She chose June 19 - in honor of his birthday. The alternative story is that Father's Day was first observed July 5, 1908, in a church in Fairmont, West Virginia.

It was President Nixon, in 1972, who established a permanent national observance of Father's Day on the third Sunday of June.

There's a quote that goes "Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad." The author is unknown, but my cynical side says it was probably a freelancer for Hallmark. But my sentimental side thinks otherwise: There are all types of men who end up being fathers - by chance or by choice, known and unknown to their offspring. But being actively present and involved in the raising of a child turns a biological relationship into something far beyond.

I grew up in the '60s, just at the end of "Father Knows Best" and at the beginnings of the Mamas and the Papas. My own father, ironically and sadly, died right around Father's Day (June 20) when I was just six years old. So that day was always a difficult one in our household.

I have only a few clear memories of my father acting as a Dad as I grew up. So maybe I'm not the person to write this - to dissect what it is that makes a father a dad.

Instead I'll turn to the animal world, which is filled with acts of male parenthood, some awesome and some bizarre.

The male hip-pocket frog actually performs an act that would make many women ecstatic. He actually "carries" the babies. After the female lays its 20 or so eggs, she leaves. The male watches the eggs hatch, then sits among the tiny tadpoles, which squirm up his back into little slots at his hips. After two weeks, the little froggies pop out, all thanks to daddy frog.

The male sea horse also assists in gestation, carrying the developing embryos in a pouch on his abdomen. The female deposits eggs into the pouch and the male fertilizes them. Embryos burrow and develop there, until the male gives birth.

The amazing feats go on: A hardhead catfish father swims from New England to Mexico, carrying up to 50 marble-sized eggs for the entire gestation period of two months. Where does the fish find room to carry these 50 eggs? In his mouth! I'd say he deserves more than a tie.

In the marmoset family, the mother starts the detachment with her twins after two weeks. The male may even help the female during birth by grooming and licking the newborn marmosets, then cares for the babies. While that gives the female a deserved break, it's short lived. She could be pregnant again in as little as two weeks. But the male still does the heavy lifting: he actually carries the babies on his back for two years. Any little baby marmoset that doesn't recognize him as a dad doesn't know what special is.