Dan's Papers - June 22, 2007 - Tables to Talk About

When I think of coffee tables, I tend to start playing the "Seinfeld" episode when Kramer publishes his "coffee table book about coffee tables" in my head. Kramer's fake book certainly demonstrates the broad topic that is coffee tables. I especially enjoyed when his book actually transformed into a coffee table with collapsible legs.

So what's in a coffee table? Well, first of all I can tell you that it is probably the most highly trafficked piece of furniture in my entire house. I stare at mine when I am placing coffee on it in the morning and eating dinner off of it six nights a week. It truly is a multi-tasking piece of furniture, which is all the more reason to give it that extra bit of attention. I guess I'm just all about customizing coffee tables. After all, a coffee table can say a lot about you.

My fascination with coffee tables started when I was in high school and my father and I were renovating a house. In this particular house there was a basement full of items left by the previous owner that we were going to take to the dump. Amongst the treasures were a scary portrait of a sad clown, thirty hideous antique lamps, and hidden in the corner, something that caught my eye. It was an antique barn door that somebody had used as a base for a wood mosaic. The mosaic is a type of woodwork known as parquetry, for its use of repeating geometric shapes made from different veneers. Needless to say, it was in dire shape after years in this stale basement. But I could see this was going to be something special. My father disagreed. He said something to the effect of "you'll start refinishing this, and then you'll leave it half finished in my basement forever." However, likely as this outcome was, I actually pulled through.

Six months, countless hours during the night and one chop saw blade later, The "Roger's Saw Blade Memorial Coffee Table" was born (Roger being my father). It still resides at my house and everyone who sees it is fairly impressed, if I do say so myself. So that's where it all began.

Since then I've made or helped make a few more. My other favorite was a collaboration with a friend of mine. A promising photographer and artist, she took it upon herself to take a class project a little bigger than expected. Using maybe a thousand or so pieces of broken colored glass she arranged a six by four inch sea turtle and epoxied them down on a piece of plywood. Several clear coats later she had this beautiful piece of art mounted on a piece of plywood. And she let it sit for a while with all the intention of someday turning it into a table. It sat around until I decided to surprise her for her birthday and mount it on legs and make a coffee table out of it. It may have been only 3/4 of the way finished when she received it, but the astonishment on her face made the last 1/4 fly by. It now resides in her parent's living room where they routinely point out that this is the greatest coffee table ever made. Okay I made that last part up - they are very modest about it. But I think when they set down a breakfast, lunch or dinner on their coffee table they do tend to enjoy it just a little bit more. So what's the message here? Is my coffee table boring? The answer is probably yes.

I suggest trying to make one yourself, or if you don't think you have the woodworking skills, just customize one. One of the best DIY coffee tables I've ever seen was at a friend's house. Take a run of the mill coffee table, sand it down, and give it a new paint job or stain. Then paste pictures of your kids (or substitute pictures of yourself doing impressive things) onto the surface. Then order yourself a piece of glass for the top for an instantly customized coffee table and a great conversation piece for hors d'oeuvres time.