Dan's Papers - June 15, 2007 - Mike Vilensky's Mini

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
The first Fantastic Four was the surprise sleeper hit two summers ago. Unexpectedly, it shot then little-known Jessica Alba to fame and made millions and millions of dollars from fans around the country. Can the sequel replicate that fantastic magic? Umm...sure, fine, whatever. Anyone want to hedge bets that they'll make a third?

Nancy Drew
The beloved book series comes to life on the screen starring Julia Robert's niece, Emma, who is probably praying that writers will stop referring to her as Julia Robert's niece. In the same vein as Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, this not-so-bad film is sure to warm the hearts of teenage girls and their mothers. While Drew teaches pre-teens lessons about integrity, I am just waiting for Roberts' first club-exit candid picture on the pages of a gossip blog. This movie is sure to be successful, but is it even worth warning the talented Roberts to lay off the celebratory drugs?

Fido
In this Canadian horror/drama/comedy genre-bender, a zombie is man's best friend. Despite eating people, this zombie has heart! Very original, this movie will either be a shocking Napoleon Dynamite style hit or a rarely mentioned flop. I'm leaning towards the latter, but this zombie has hope.

Eagle vs. Shark
Geeks fall in love and an indie band plays the soundtrack. A self-aware comedy from New Zealand with all the hip that the silver screen can fit, this movie is funny - albeit alienating, if you're not in on all that irony. Or, perhaps, this movie will turn out to be the summer's Napoleon Dynamite (or Little Miss Sunshine) and channel that inexplicable mainstream appeal. I doubt it, but for insurance purposes I'll admit the possibility.

DOA: Dead or Alive
A group of female fighters head to an exotic island for an all-out tournament with each other, but end up banding together to fight an evil force. How does this sound to you, Dan's reader? You probably expect me to make a sardonic quip right now about sub-titles, exploitation, major movie studios, actresses, or Asians. But in this case, I, for one, am there! This movie rules.

Surf's Up
An animated movie about penguins making a documentary movie about surfing, all mirroring humans. Very meta! With the pretty sound of Zooey Deschanel on voice over, I can't complain too much about this fun film. Plus, I gave Shia LaBouf's last movie a bad comment - this time, I'll spare him.