Classic Cars with Bob Gelber

Sex. Lies and Videotape. That was the name of a fairly well received motion picture made in the sixties. It is also what car manufacturers have been feeding us for decades. The world's car makers have been producing sexy vehicles and have been lying to us about their capabilities while making beautifully produced, and I might add, terrifically expensive, television commercials hawking their vehicles' attributes.

Just last week, the three chief executives of General Motors, Ford and Chrysler had lunch with Senate Democrats. The executives argued about a sprawling energy bill that will soon be brought to the Senate floor. This bill proposes to increase gasoline mileage requirements for cars and light trucks. The auto executives argued that these requirements would be impossible to meet and would gravely damage the automotive industry. This is the same Detroit that said it was impossible to meet exhaust emissions standards in the early seventies. While Detroit executives were whining, Honda developed a CV VT engine management system which solved the current problem. This is also the same Detroit that once was the world's leader in automotive innovation. Chrysler was the world's first car manufacturer of both air-conditioning and disc brakes. Ford was the first to introduce mass production of automobiles. General Motors was a master of product marketing.

All manufacturers, when motivated, can do the almost impossible. Just two years ago, General Motors developed an entry-level sports car in record time - the Pontiac Solstice. In the sixties, when GM needed an economy car, their designers and engineers produced the brilliant but flawed rear engine, air-cooled Corvair. If the Corvair had been further developed, it could possibly have been one of the world's great cars. Ford, in the sixties, made an offer to purchase the legendary Ferrari Motor Car Company. Rebuffed by the Italians, Ford put a Herculean effort into building a vehicle that would be faster than the Ferrari. Just three years later the Ford GT-40 was winning races around the world. The point here is that when Detroit wants to do something, it can be done in a hurry. Stop lying to the American public about your capabilities.

What is really sad about this deception is that Detroit manufacturers are in dire straights primarily because of their deceit. They refuse to accept the fact that the American public might want smaller, more fuel efficient vehicles. Most ads in print or on television are for large vehicles. What bugs me most is that a lot of the ads lie. GM touts its flex fuel vehicles. Personally, I've never seen a fuel pump that has flex fuel. GM also touts its Volt electric show car. Certainly a pretty vehicle, but it is based upon a battery technology that not only does not exist, but is currently pure fantasy.

Look, I understand why Detroit is pushing large cars. There is simply a lot more profit in a large vehicle. The cold hard fact is that it really doesn't cost that much more to punch out a six-foot metal fender than it does a four foot one. Weld all these pieces together with non-union robots, and the larger vehicle looks like more value than the smaller one. Charge more, make more. Catch 22 is that the bigger vehicle needs a bigger motor to move its extra heft, which equals less gas economy. That's why Detroit loves to sell pickup trucks - the most impressive big mothers on the road. The biggest selling vehicle in America is the Ford F-150 pickup. Over the years it has grown in size. The pickup truck is a real profit maker, because if you really think about it, compared to a car, there is nothing there. Usually just a small cab and a large stamped, steel bed. The current king of pickups, the 2007 GMC Sierra Denali crew cab, lists for $48,645. For the record it has an EPA rating of 13 mpg city mileage.

This year the EPA has finally recalibrated its testing procedures to tell the truth about the gasoline mileage on the vehicles it tests. For almost a decade the EPA has been printing false information on all the window stickers of all the cars sold in America. It always angered me when I saw a Toyota ad for the Prius touting its 60 mpg. Everybody, especially new Prius owners, knew that real world gas mileage is less. I don't know if you've noticed, but the latest Prius ads don't mention mileage. But it's still great, at around 50 mpg. What has always bothered me is why foreign car companies, often with cultures different from ours, seem to think they know best what Americans want. What the hell is wrong with the executives in Detroit?

Bob Gelber, an automotive journalist living in the Hamptons, appears regularly on television as an automotive expert. You can email him at bobgelber@aol.com

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