Dan's Papers - June 6, 2008 - Tony n' Tina Get Married

If you've never crashed a wedding of complete strangers, you've missed some deliciously wicked fun. Imagine showing up at the wedding and dabbing back tears as the couple say their vows. Then, at the reception, you and your partner in crime join the throng going through the receiving line, where you tell the bewildered bride she has never looked more beautiful, and wish the surprised bridegroom good luck. Never mind their confusion - each of them probably thinks you are the date or spouse of someone they know. Besides, it's their wedding day and they certainly aren't going to focus on you.

There's food and dancing, and as you blend into the crowd, everyone assumes you were invited. Conversations flow, until the inevitable question: Friend of the bride or groom?

Oops. Well, maybe you're a little too civilized to perform a charade like this. Maybe you'd like to crash a wedding, but be sort of invited, too.

You're in luck. Come to Tony n' Tina's Wedding, which takes place June 14 at 6:30 p.m. at the Ross School in East Hampton, and play the role of guest without the subterfuge of being a real wedding crasher. Adding to the fun will be a raffle to benefit the East Hampton Day Care Learning Center.

"Alec Baldwin is hosting the June 14 event and the Tony n' Tina thing is so exciting," said Diane Saatchi, a member of the board of the Learning Center, and a realtor in the Hamptons. "We're having the original off-Broadway cast for the performance, and then we'll have a Hamptons version of a tacky wedding feast catered by the Art of Eating."

Tony n' Tina's Wedding, now in its 17th year in New York, with other performances around the country, is billed by its promoters as an all-inclusive event where you're a guest star who is treated like one of the family. It tells the story of childhood sweethearts who decide that the coolest thing to do after high school is to get married, but then wonder if their marriage can survive the wedding day. As Tina, a headstrong, 20-something, party-girl bride faces the happiest day of her life with two dysfunctional families fighting, rowdy, handsome Tony just tries to cope and escape the day.

The event begins with the ceremony, where anything can happen and usually does. Then, it's time for what promoters say is the "most hilarious" wedding reception guests will ever attend. They enjoy a full meal, raise a champagne toast, eat the wedding cake and dance the night away at the party.

The quirky case keeps laughs rolling. In addition to Tony and Tina, other characters, which comprise an entire wedding party of guests, range from Connie, the pregnant maid of honor, to Father Mark, a priest who thinks he's hip.

The East Hampton Day Care Learning Center, founded in 1976, describes itself as the only not-for-profit educational organization providing full-day, year-round day care in East Hampton. It offers programs for pre-school children ages 18 months to five years. It is the only day care center in East Hampton licensed by New York State, and works in collaboration with the East Hampton School District. Its collaborative pre-kindergarten program with the East Hampton School District was awarded the prestigious MAGNA award for excellence by the National School Board Association.

The center currently serves 200 children representing all segments of the East Hampton community. The mission of the year-round learning center is to serve as an advocate for children and promote their physical, social, emotional and cognitive development, while responding to the needs of working families and the community.

"I hope we will raise a lot of money for the center," Saatchi said. "Two-thirds of its total funding comes from parent fees plus some funding from the State. The other third comes from fund raising. We need to grow and expand the program to include infant care."

The community as a whole depends on quality day care, she added.

"There's a shortage of a workforce out here, and a lot of the reason for that is that people don't keep jobs because they have to take care of their children, Saatchi added. "But the more options parents have for good, competent day care, the more they would be able to work all day. And the more parents who have jobs in the Hamptons, the better it is for the community."

Tony n' Tina's Wedding, to benefit the East Hampton Day Care Learning Center, Saturday, June 14, 6:30 p.m. Ross School (Goodfriend Park off Route 114, East Hampton) Tickets, including wedding, dinner and wine, start at $200 per person. Dress is festive

Raffle tickets are $250; only 1,000 will be sold. Drawing to take place at the performance; winners need not be present. Raffle winner (plus two guests, with club member), has the opportunity to play at four East End golf courses this season, lunch included.

For more information and to purchase tickets, contact Melisa South at (631) 324-4460.