Dan's Papers - May 30, 2008 - Twentysomething...By David Lion Rattiner

Few things beat driving with the top down on my Smart Car, which I recently got from the lovely people at the Smart Car Center in Smithtown. But hitting a bunny has added a little bit of guilt to my conscience.

I was driving with the top down along Route 27 on my way out to Montauk and listening to Sublime. I was thinking to myself that life is good - I'm now an environmentalist, I have a Smart Car and drink water from the tap. It's a start.

I was totally lost in my head when suddenly out of nowhere a cute, little bunny darted out from the left side of the road.

As I'm sure you know, in life or death situations, even when it's not your own life, time slows down and about 20 thoughts race through your head. When I saw this bunny run out into oncoming traffic, I had the following thoughts in approximately half a second.

1. The bunny is not going to be injured because I'm driving a Smart Car and a Smart Car, much like the bunny, is super cute, teenie tiny and winks at you when you see it. If my car hits the bunny, it will be just fine.

2. I hope that this four-pound bunny doesn't destroy my Smart Car.

3. Is this bunny running from a predator? A monster?

4. Why are animals so stupid? Every single one of them has at least one relative that gets hit by a car and yet they still run out into the street.

5. Foot hit brake, foot hit brake! You're gonna kill Bugs Bunny!

6. Bugs Bunny isn't real you idiot.

7. Speed up, it's better to just kill this thing than let it survive and be injured and then get eaten by something.

8. Try to move to the center of the road. Maybe then the bunny won't get hit by my tire and will survive by ducking underneath the car.

9. If I was a bunny and a car ran over the top of me and I wasn't injured at all and then I made it across the street, well, that would be crazy.

10. Man, this bunny is a fast runner.

11. God, animals are stupid. They are just sooooo stupid. I hate deer.

12. Oh my God, I'm going to hit this bunny.

13. Should I tell the people at Smart Car that I just hit a bunny? Will that be a problem?

14. I'll tell them. Big deal. I hit a bunny.

I hit the bunny going about 50 mph and watched it rocket launch about 20 feet into the air and then land on the ground motionless. My heart sank. I felt terrible. I stopped the car and thought things over. Should I call the police? Should I move it off to the side of the road? Say a prayer?

I said a little prayer.

I wasn't about to cry, but my Smart Car began to tear up as I cleaned the windshield. The little guy felt guilty.

It's all right, Mr. Smart Car, you're gonna be OK. You're just learning what it means to grow up. Sometimes things happen and they can't be explained. Come on, I'll buy you a gallon of unleaded.