Dans Papers - June 1, 2007 - Fundraising Concert

This is the conversation that has the planners of all other Hamptons fundraisers worried. For five consecutive Saturday nights this summer, The Ross School will be hosting some of the most amazing international performers, all in the name of charity, raising money so needy kids can go to the Ross School. Some tickets are going for $15,000 so that a partier can attend all five concerts. Beginning July 14, the benefit concert series will include Prince, Billy Joel, Dave Matthews, Tom Petty and James Taylor. This is going to be unbelievable. I hate to say it, but this is a whole other level of entertainment for this area.

Most summers, if we're lucky, we'll have one concert out here with a performer of this stature, but five, and all in a row? Wow.

And that's what the other fundraiser people are saying. They know that these events are going to be sought after big time. Not just because people care about Ross School scholarships, but also because they really want to go see Billy Joel sing "Down Easter Alexa" in the Hamptons one last time before they die. They want to see how short Prince actually is. They want to see Dave Matthews sing "Crash Into Me" while making out with somebody. These are not charity events to people, these are all out events that are going on in the Hamptons that people really want to go to.

The other fundraisers out there are not concerned about this out of jealousy. It's a matter of business. They think there is a chance that having an event like this will take money away from them. There are a lot of other important charities out here that rely on the good will of the rich. Charities that support research for breast cancer and other cancers are important to support. There is the Heart of The Hamptons Gala for the American Heart Association on July 7, and also the day before Prince performs is the Under the Stars Benefit for the Children's Museum of the East End. What will these big concerts do to events like this?

Fear not. Our view here at Dan's Papers is that very little will change. We know Hamptons people and we know that when it comes to charity, they don't mess around. We have some of the most giving people out here and they take charity events very seriously. They understand the importance of them, they understand the need for them and they understand the tax benefits they get supporting them.

With that being said, now comes the problem of being in two places at once, or being too tired to go from one charity event to the other.

Well, here at Dan's Papers, we have figured out a solution for you.

We have set up a business right out of this office that will allow you to give your tickets away to people who will attend the event representing you. Each individual has been hand selected by us personally, so you can be sure that you will be represented by the best people. And guess what? You don't even have to pay us a fee for it! That's right, this is service to you that is absolutely free to the person providing the ticket because, believe it or not, the people that we are selecting are actually willing to pay us the small sum of $100 to get the tickets for these events.

We train them to be courteous, we give them a handful of semi-clean jokes to tell at the party and we give them your business cards to hand out at all of the events. We also have developed a special makeup that is also used by politicians, so that when your representative's picture is taken, the photo ends up a being a photograph of you. And don't worry, our employees are going to know how to spell your name, forwards and backwards.