Dan's Papers - May 22, 2009 - Twentysomething...

Some say that you know you've made it when you get interviewed on Fox News. Last week my cell phone was blowing up with calls and text messages. "I think I just saw your Dad on Fox News dude!"

I checked my e-mail and sure enough there was a note circulating the link. "Dan on Fox!" was in the subject heading. This must be about the Hampton Subway, I thought. Or maybe it's about his book? Or maybe it's about the ridiculous attempt to shut down the Bridgehampton High School. Go get 'em Dad.

I clicked the link and then quickly began to realize that the world was taking seriously the claim that a picture of an unidentified dead animal was more likely to be a monster from outer space or mutation from a secret government facility, rather than being a regular animal that decomposed beyond recognition. There my Dad was on national television, talking about another "Montauk Monster" that washed ashore on the North Fork a few weeks ago. It was the Montauk Monster Part 2.

A guy named Nicky Papers, who I can almost guarantee you is not his real name, created a website dedicated to the media fiasco that is the Montauk Monster, which was a decomposed animal that washed ashore the beaches of Ditch Plains last summer. Nobody could figure out what kind of animal it was because it was so disgustingly decomposed. Was it a baby cow? Was it a dog? Was it a raccoon? Apparently there were enough idiots out there to believe that it was a mutated monster out of a science fiction movie and somehow it made national news. If you Google "Montauk," pictures of a decomposing animal show up.

Well this guy Nicky Papers, who in a way I kind of respect for putting so much energy into creating his website and creating a second hoax, e-mailed photos to newspapers of another dead animal, lying out on the beach in the same fashion, and claimed that another "Montauk Monster" washed ashore. Of course a couple of newspapers bit at the story, and in the age of the Internet, the too-good-to-not-tell story reached Fox News.

I have to say though, I've never been prouder of my Dad watching him on Fox News last week. He looked good and was hilarious. We posted the video, embedded, onto danshamptons.com if you want to check it out. My favorite part about the whole interview was when my Dad explained the "true" version of the monster, which is that it is a mutated animal from the research facility on Plum Island. Passing along a hoax or two is something he's known for and I couldn't believe how convincing the "truth" was. Of course, with a little smile, he then said, "Well, it's more of a theory."

"What's the untrue version of this story?" the broadcaster asked.

"Well the untrue version is that a bunch of space aliens have landed and are experimenting on animals so that they can show us what they plan on doing to us," my Dad laughed.

As the day went on it felt like the whole world had seen this news story, and the truth is a lot of people did. I started getting e-mails from old college buddies, "Your Dad is the man!" or "Dude, is it really a monster from Plum Island? Are you going to go there?"

I rattled off responses and just couldn't help laughing. The crazies are certainly going to come out of the woods for this one.