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Police Blotter
School Speeding
A man in Sag Harbor was pulled over by police officers after he was caught driving over 40 miles an hour in a school zone. He was then arrested after the officers discovered that he was driving without his registration. Officers advised the man that he should probably head back to driving school, very slowly.
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Copper Gutters
In Bridgehampton, a homeowner reported that over $2,000 worth of copper gutters were stolen from his house. At today's copper rate, $2,000 is about half a foot of copper.
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Bar Fight
In Sag Harbor, a bar fight broke out between two men. One man punched the other in the nose, causing injury. When police arrived, both of the intoxicated men were not interested in pressing charges against each other. The two shook hands and resolved their differences by cursing each other out and going home.
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Hedge Trimmer
A sixty-year-old man stole a hedge trimmer in Westhampton. Not for nothing, hedge trimmers are extremely hard to come by in Westhampton and the hedges there can get pretty out of hand.
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Fake Identification
A man was arrested by police in Hampton Bays after he presented them with a fake drivers license after he was pulled over. Police knew that they were on to some kind of scam when the man tried to pass himself off as having the last name McLovin.
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Fighting
A couple in East Hampton began fighting with police officers and were arrested. Police were in the middle of an investigation, interviewing the couple for information. In the middle of the interview, the woman began punching and scratching a police officer and the man kicked an officer square in the family jewels. Yep. That will get you in jail pretty quick.
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Drunken Fall
A man in Hampton Bays required medical treatment after he busted his head wide open during a drinking competition. The man apparently was attempting to break three glass bottles over the top of his head. He was unable to accomplish the task, and only made it through one bottle. Good luck next time, buddy.
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Gas
A man in Riverhead reported to police that $300 worth of gas was stolen from his house. No wait, we're sorry, it is actually $320 worth of gas. No, that's not right, it was $389. Wait, are you kidding me? Four hundred and thirty? FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY TWO? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!
- Written and Compiled by David Lion Rattiner
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