Dans Papers - May 18, 2007 - Luxury Port-O-Potties Hit the Hamptons

The rich out here are funny people, but they sure as hell know how to throw fun parties. All summer long, there are these extravagant, outrageous events that involve celebrities, fully catered white tents, live music and open bars almost always in the name of charity, marriage or just because it's fun to do.

These parties are not easy to set up and are big business out here for local entrepreneurs, who make nice livings as caterers, party and event planners, musical acts and just about everything else that you can think of.

People that attend these parties are always enjoying plenty of food and drink, so there is one detail about these parties that needs to be addressed.

What happens when you have to go number one?

Well, that all depends on where you are and what party you are at. If you are at a tent party at a luxury estate and the host is the same person that owns the home and you're friends with them, then generally you can walk right into the home and be directed to a nice bathroom. If you are at the beach, you can walk over to the local beach facilities that are required to be there by law.

But as the party scene of the Hamptons grows and grows, more venues are available and more people are going to more homes of people that they don't really know. Sometimes, a fundraiser is held at an estate that doesn't have anything really to do with the people involved and as a favor, they donate their vast lawn on their Hamptons property. Are they going to share their restrooms with strangers? If possible, they would prefer not to.

Which is why, on top of caterers, limo drivers, valets, tent builders, face painters and balloon makers, a relatively new line of work has shown up -- the luxury port-a-potty business. After all, we are the Hamptons, we can't go into those blue or green capsules with no plumbing that they have at Jones Beach. I mean, they could tip over!

Which is why, in recent summers, if you've attended an event of some sort, you may have held it.

The local men and women of this area, however, never, ever let the summer people down, because they know how important they are to the local economy. And so, luxury port-a-potty businesses have sprung. One such business was started this year by East Hampton and Montauk locals Joe Cucci and Calvin McFarland. The pair have started a portable restroom business called Head Quarters, (get it, "Head" Quarters) and have jumped into the luxury portable restroom market, on top of their regular port-a-potty business.

The growing market for luxury portable restrooms has been going on for years, but in the past two years Calvin and Joe have noticed growth in the market, which is why they have invested in brand new, all-out luxury port-a-potties, complete with sinks, running water throughout and the flush on these things is like a jet engine. Who knows what they will think of next? These restrooms are pulling out all the stops. Some of these luxury port-a-potties will sometimes even have mints and perfume or cologne, along with a guy or gal (depending on which one you're in) to pass you a towel. Now this is living.

It's just another thing that we locals do for all you summer people that come out here, to make you that much happier. Now, if you could please take some driving lessons before you hit the roads out here. After all, one hand washes the other.