Dan's Papers - May 9, 2008

The New York State Commission on Local Government Efficiency and Competitiveness has really pissed off one of our Village Mayors, Gary Vegliante.

The Commission has proposed that villages with fewer than 500 people be required to hold a referendum on whether the village should continue to exist. The Commission feels that there are too many bodies of government, too many layers, too many people duplicating services. And it has to stop.

"It's an outrageous attack on sovereign home rule," Vegliante said. "How about if we have a vote of confidence for the members of the Senate and Assembly now? It is an attempt to undermine the free will of a small community to be self-governed and rule their own quality of life."

The New York State Commission on Local Government Efficiency and Competitiveness was formed several years ago up in Albany with the charge of seeing to it that local governments keep a tight rein on what they spend. How can you argue with that?

One thing they noticed was that when the census takers came around to Vegliante's little village, they found only 11 people living there. It was winter of 2000. Truth be told, almost everybody was on vacation at that time, having worn themselves out lying on the beach, playing tennis, throwing Frisbees around, surfing and swimming. So now they were off "working" back in the big city for a while, trying on vacation to see how the other half lives.

Not to worry, they all came back in the summertime. There are about 600 of them.

We agree with Mayor Vegliante. It's outrageous to ask the residents of a happy village to have a referendum to decide whether or not they should continue to be a village.

We think the better idea would be to have a referendum where each individual in a village votes on whether they, as individuals, want to remain in the village or not. So Mayor Vegliante could vote to continue the village, but the grocer down the street could vote to call it off. With at least one person in the village, it could continue, but then everybody could have a choice. Husbands could stay in the village, wives could vote no. It wouldn't mean anybody would have to move out. It would be like Republicans and Democrats. One person would pledge allegiance to the Village of Westhampton Dunes and another could pledge allegiance to the Town of Southampton, within which the village sits.

Isn't that what "one man one vote" is all about?

We should also note here a dirty little secret about how the Village of Westhampton Dunes was formed. No, maybe we better not tell that. Okay we will.

The Village of Westhampton Dunes was formed with NOBODY living in the Village of Westhampton Dunes! It's a fact! Ask the Mayor.

Back in 1994, the entire peninsula comprising the village was either underwater or vandalized with nobody there, and had been that way for a year. There was no electricity or heat or telephone. It was illegal to even GO to the village except to go with a police escort to get some of your things.

For 300 years before 1994, this peninsula was part of the Town of Southampton. About 300 summer homes got built on the peninsula. Then, due to the misguided installation of some jetties to the east of this peninsula, the ocean broke through to the bay, cutting it off, and 150 houses went into the sea. By 1992, all the lots where those 150 houses had been were now underwater. Send the surveyors in. They'd have to put up 50-foot poles at the corners of the property lines for anybody to even see them. And then even only when the tide was out.

Beyond the raging waters of this break, which was as wide as half a mile (and got named Pike's Inlet by those who thought it would be permanent), there were another 250 houses now cut off from the mainland. The road to them was now underwater. The sea had torn down the telephone poles bearing the electricity and cable TV and telephone. Nobody could even get to these houses, except by boat. And so vandals, working at night, soon did that, breaking windows and stealing sofas and TVs and so forth. The town didn't have enough police to keep a 24-hour vigil. And so things went to ruin.

Soon there were hundreds of lawsuits against the county that had installed the jetties, against the Town and the Government, and it appeared these lawsuits would take five or ten years to settle.

And then Gary Vegliante, a lawyer from Port Jefferson, got the idea to incorporate this mess as a village. As a village, the mayor would have the power to declare the area a disaster and then apply for Federal funds. And so Vegliante drove around in his car - to Manhattan and out to Lynbrook and Great Neck and other places - getting people to sign on to have a "referendum" to incorporate. And so they did. With nobody there, they voted 242 to 0 to incorporate. And the rest is history. The place in ten years is thriving. The Feds sealed the breach, sent money so the road could be restored and these people in "distress" could get back to their homes so a village and its traditional way of life could be saved.

That's the way the Feds do things.

As for the New York State Commission on Local Government Efficiency and Competitiveness, I suggest that the first thing they do is look inward, to themselves, to see how money is being spent.

How much stationery, how many business cards, how many office doors have to all have the letters put on them in gold leaf that say New York State Commission on Local Government Efficiency and Competitiveness? Think about it. Shorten the name. My suggestion is NYS Pay-Less. It would save a ton of money.

And then this commission could have a referendum, every week, to allow the members of the commission to vote on whether they should be continuing to exist. How much could be saved without this Commission? Should they continue another week?

They'd shut it down the first time around. And then the second time around, glory be, there'd be nobody there to vote.