Dans Papers - May 11, 2007

In our fast-paced, western world, thoughts pass through our minds as torrentially as raindrops in a summer storm. It is helpful to learn not to dwell on these thoughts, but to allow them to pass through and then let them go. Not all thoughts need to get caught up in your brain. Not all thoughts need to be acted upon. Some thoughts can simply exist and then fade away.

In Buddhist philosophy, people are taught to observe their thoughts. Do not dwell on them, but notice them. Watch them arise, acknowledge their existence and watch them dissipate. As Buddha once said, these thoughts will become your words, your words become your actions, your actions will become habits and your habits will, over time, harden into your character. Observe your thoughts, Buddhism states, and let them come from a place of love.

So often, thoughts rise in us and we immediately spew them out of our mouths. This is how we get into unreasonable arguments with people we love. This is how we do things we regret, by acting out of spite or pride. We treasure freedom of speech, but with that right we should remember that we are responsible for our words and we have a choice as to what thoughts we foster and what thoughts we let go.

This simple observation and acknowledgement of thoughts can help you deal with feelings of jealousy, stress or fear. Your thoughts are all legitimate and real, but sometimes, though, we have thoughts that are caused by insecurity or weakness. These are not the thoughts we want to foster. They lead to detrimental behavior. Instead of flaunting negative thoughts, observe them. Figure out why you have these thoughts. And then, let them go.

For example, let's say I have a stressful thought that I am not going to have success in the career I've chosen. I let this thought grow in my mind until I have mapped out my path to failure. Then I start talking to people about how I don't think I can do it, looking for someone else to convince me that I'm wrong. But that strength that we often seek outside ourselves comes from within. If you give yourself the time to observe your detrimental thought patterns, to understand them without dwelling on them, and to let them go, then you will be able to identify positive thoughts and speak them, act on them and allow them to become who you are.

Everyone has weak or negative thoughts. It's human. However, there are various ways you can react to these negative thoughts. It's easy to let them consume you, to rant and rave about your jealousy or to freak out over your stress levels. However, this is the weak way to deal with negative thoughts. I am not saying that I've never reacted in this way or that I never will again. It's hard to be disciplined in letting detrimental thoughts go because they are important to you in their own ways. That's why you shouldn't ignore these thoughts. Don't chastise yourself for feeling stressed out, jealous, frightened or insecure. Allow yourself to feel this way, love yourself anyway and then take a deep breath and let the next word you say come from this place of love.

You will be amazed at the positive response you get from allowing your words to come from a loving source. Even when the day has been a train wreck of challenges, take a moment to notice what you're thinking. If you're thinking, "I hate this job" or "I am not good enough" or another negative thought, let that thought dissolve in your brain and keep your mouth closed. Take a cross-legged seat and close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and allow your thought to pass through you. With just a few breaths, you'll find your mind clearing. The next time you speak, don't let it be negativity that comes out. Let your words come from a place of strength. Your words become your actions, your actions become your habits and your habits harden into your character. Be thoughtful, strong and loving.