Police Blotter

- David Lion Rattiner

Bus Driver

The driver of the party bus that a Hampton Bays teenager fell out the window of and was critically injured has been arrested. Another man, who supplied the teenagers with the alcohol for the bus, has fled the country. Finally, the parents have somebody to blame. Whew, that was getting close. It almost looked as if it was their fault for a second.

Fireworks

The fourth of July came a little early this year as reports came through the wire about illegal fireworks going off on the circle in Montauk. The spectacle took place inside of a plant pot and were small firecrackers. No arrests have been made so far, but there are some leads.

Stoned Dumb

A man in East Hampton was sitting on a bench smoking what appeared to be a cigar. A police officer on patrol walked by the man and smelled marijuana smoke, inquired about what the man was smoking and subsequently arrested him. This ain't Amsterdam folks.

The Runner

A drunk man in Southampton was pulled over after being seen driving erratically. The man attempted to get out of his car and make a run for it, but was so intoxicated that he ran towards the woods and clotheslined himself on a branch, knocking himself to the ground. Police caught up with the man, and thanked the tree for its brave act.

Splatter

A man in East Quogue was arrested after he was spotted spinning out his tires that launched small rocks and dirt onto people that were on the side of the road. The macho man didn't spin out his tires while being arrested, but expressed excitement about seeing the new Fast and Furious movie.

The Pooper

A man on the beach caused quite the stir when he refused to clean up after his dog while walking him. Protective beach goers confronted the man, who dared them to call the police. When the confronters pulled out their cell phones, the man agreed to pick up after his dog.

The Drinker

A man in Sag Harbor was spotted drinking alcohol in public in the middle of the day. He was quickly charged.

Cigarettes

You don't hear too much about cigarette crimes, but a man in Southampton threatened a vendor for not selling him cigarettes to the point where police needed to be called. Police arrived and learned that the man was yelling, being disorderly and demanding that he be sold cigarettes. The vendor explained that he needed ID, which the man did not have on his person. Police arrived at the scene and after some questioning, arrested the man for disorderly conduct.

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