Dan's Papers - April 10, 2009

Used to be you just went down to the ocean and went swimming, fishing or surfing without worrying about interference from bureaucrats. The air, water, sky and beach were free. You can still do those things for free if you want. But if you do, afterwards, you'll go to jail.

For example, the State of New York last week passed a law that will prohibit you going fishing for fluke aboard a boat from a harbor in this state from June 15 to July 3. That's right. If a captain takes you out, you get the ticket if it's you who caught the flounder and it's he who gets the ticket for being an accessory to the crime of catching a flounder between June 15 and July 3.

What's he supposed to do during those three weeks? Relax on the French Riviera? He has only a 25-week season to make his money.

Meanwhile, during the time you CAN legally fish for fluke, the number of fluke you are allowed to catch each day has been reduced by two fish. Used to be four a day. Now it is two. Furthermore, each of the two you CAN catch have to be at least 21 inches long, which is half an inch longer than the year before. Maybe this year you'll catch the same fish you caught last year but threw back because he was a half-inch too short. He's still a half-inch too short. He grew, but it didn't matter.

Incidentally, Governor David A. Paterson says he is being forced into making these new fishing laws by the Feds. The Feds have fishing quotas for each particular state. And New York is getting the short end of the stick. New Jersey fishermen can catch six fish per day. Rhode Island fishermen can catch seven flounder a day. Connecticut fishermen can catch five fluke a day. Also, Rhode Island fishermen can catch fluke over 20 inches, Connecticut fishermen can catch fluke measuring over 19.5 inches and New Jersey fishermen can catch fluke 18 inches. Also, New Jersey fishermen are not forced to go on vacation, nor will Rhode Island fishermen. Bureaucrats actually sit around all day thinking these things up.

New York Senator Chuck Schumer, in announcing his decision to oppose these inane fish totals, has described the federal laws as antiquated and in dire need of being overhauled.

Meanwhile, out at Montauk Point, where the surfers and surfcasters have done their thing since time began up off the north bar without much trouble from one another (you surf here, I'll throw the hook in over there, it's fine,) there is now a new State law that the surfing season goes from December 16 to April 1. So check your calendar if you want to go surfing out at the north bar. Oops. Too late. Come back December 16.

But the surfcasters are cheering. As of April 2, it is their time out at the north bar, and they've got the whole thing, surfer free until the week before Christmas.

Since many surfcasters ARE surfers, it's the same people, just with different gear. Go figure.

There's no license required to go out kayaking or canoeing or body boarding in the ocean waves (yet), and there is no license required to go running down to the ocean and jumping in (yet), but now the State, which is always looking for ways to find more revenue, is requiring that surfcasters, in addition to the above, buy a license. An annual license to surfcast anywhere in the State of New York is now $10 for residents and $15 for non-residents. If you just want to surfcast for a week, it is $8 for residents and $10 for non-residents. And if you want to surfcast for a day, that will be $4 for residents and $5 for non-residents.

One expects that the beaches will be swarming with ticket issuing employees on the lookout for surfers surfing when they are not suppose to or for surfcasters surfcasting when they are not supposed to, or surfers surfcasting when they are allowed to, but without a license.

These lucky State employees, probably laid off from their paper pushing jobs in the downturn, are now back in business, and out on the beach getting some rays while doing it. How about that! We wish them the best. Thus does the State use its stimulus money for new shovel ready jobs.

Let's see, we have here a guy with both a surfboard and a fishing rod on the roof of his van, who is legal for the surfcasting season, but illegal for the surfing season, and who is surfing out there, though I don't know if he bought a permit to surfcast. I'll just shout out to him.

"Hey! It's me. The ordinance inspector. Paddle in. I've got to figure all this out."

Wait. Before I do that, I should check to see if he has a State permit to be on the beach with that van. Oh, for heaven sakes, now he's snorkeling. Let me have another look at the rules.

Anyway, the good news is that there are still a whole lot of things you can still do for free. You can breathe the air in and out. You can lie in the sun. You can go hang gliding at Napeague. You can go rowing in Lake Montauk and out in the Pecocnic Bay, you can ... wait a minute. I forgot to say this. If you see anybody who works for the State of New York reading this last paragraph over your shoulder, shoot him.