Notes On Seceding From The State & County

By Dan Rattiner

For the last two weeks calls for secession have been in the news here on Long Island. First it was about the five eastern towns getting together to break off from Suffolk and form a new County, because in the county legislature, the eastern five towns have two votes, while the western six towns have 17. Not fair. We've threatened often.

Indeed, over the years on three occasions the eastern towns have filed papers to press this case. The new county would be called Peconic County. Carved away, Peconic County would prosper. The rest of Suffolk County would falter and that's because the West End wouldn't have the East End to kick around anymore. And the much smaller West End would no longer be the recipient of the huge financial bundle they've been getting because of the imbalance in the legislature, which was created by "One Man One Vote."

Though all of these tries failed - the last one because of just one man, Assemblyman Sheldon Silver - many still think that Peconic County will come to pass. We've got a set of plans for it. We've even designed a flag, which you may have seen flying here and there - a blue background with five gold stars. We're ready.

But now there is a second group of people that wants to secede. And it's not just against Suffolk County. This is a group that wants to make Long Island the 51st state. Suffolk County Comptroller Joe Sawicki says that Long Island is in the same position as it relates to the whole United States that the East End is in relating to Suffolk County. And he's calling for a meeting of all Long Island leaders to see what can be done about it.

I might note that four times since the United States was founded, groups tried to carve a new state out of an older one. An attempt to divide California into three states failed in 1998. An attempt to carve a new state out of Maryland's eastern shore of the Chesapeake also failed. The only two secessions that succeeded were Maine being carved off of Massachusetts in 1820, and West Virginia carving itself off from Virginia in 1863.

As discussions have proceeded about both of these things - most of the talk consists of distribution of taxes - it's worth noting that a lot hangs on which of these secessions gets going first.

If Peconic County gets carved out of Suffolk County first, it is going to be much harder to make Long Island its own state. The two western counties of Long Island, Nassau and Suffolk, might think alike, but Peconic County, I can tell you, has a whole different mindset. How do you create a new state if one of the three counties that were supposed to secede doesn't want to?

On the other hand, if the State of Long Island is formed before Peconic County, Peconic County might never happen at all. I think the East Enders would like the idea of us being our own state very, very much. Especially if the State Capitol could be in Riverhead. And especially if all the bridges and tunnels into Manhattan could be cut.

Finally, what are we going to do with the Windmill Antilles people? You may not know this, but still another group of patriots not long ago tried to get a whole lot of Islanders here on the East End and elsewhere to consider forming their own COUNTRY.

This country would consist of seven islands just off the northeast coast. They would all have one thing in common -they would all have old English windmills. They would include the South Fork of Long Island, Shelter Island, Plum Island, Gardiners Island, Fisher's Island, Block Island, Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket.

They too had a flag. It had a picture of all the islands on it, surrounding a central drawing of a windmill. There would be a founding mother - Aunt Tillie. And Aunt Tillie would want you to serve as a soldier in the upcoming campaign against the United States. Aunt Tillie Wants You. Aunt Tillie wants you to arm yourself with spears, shields, helmets, chain mail, and bows and arrows. And Aunt Tillie wants you to declare war and lose, so the United States would have to repay the failed island-country billions and billions of dollars in order to rebuild the economy.

These people are plotting and scheming as we speak. All for several and several for all.

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