Dan's Papers - April 4, 2008 - Twentysomething...By David Lion Rattiner

I'm pretty much completely obsessed with this season of "American Idol." It's relatively pathetic and I think that I need to get out more, but I'm sorry, I friggin' love that kid David Archuleta. I'm so into this show that I have a little ritual when I watch it that involves about three bottles of Guinness and intense telephone conversations when the contestants sing.

"Oh my God dude, did you hear Brooke screw up in the beginning? What was she thinking?! For crying out loud this is AMERICAN IDOL!"

I love hating Ryan Seacrest for being so annoying. Man, I hate him. I love Paula Abdul for always telling the contestants they did a good job and that she loves them, even when they're terrible, and I love always agreeing with Simon Cowell after each performance. It just does it for me.

David Archuleta is the nicest, sweetest kid that I have ever seen on television. Not only can he sing, he is also gracious and humble. I don't want to sound weird, but I hope to one day have a son like him. He better win. I'm gonna be mad if he doesn't.

One of the most amazing things about this show is how much it can open people up emotionally. I walked into work the other day and brought up the show because I was so pumped up about it. "Did you see 'American Idol' last night?" I asked my co-workers.

As the question sank in, I watched everybody's brains began to decide whether or not they were going to admit that they watch the show. After all, this was the Dan's Papers editorial department. None of these people watch television - they all go home and read the New Yorker and The New York Times. But then, from the far corner of the newsroom, an editor brought the conversation to the next level. "OH MY GOD! I saw it last night. The country girl is so annoying!"

Of course, this deserved the appropriate rebuttal. "Yeah, but she is pretty and she knows her audience, so she will go far."

For about 20 minutes we went on and on about "American Idol," analyzing every detail. We talked about the reasons why the public enjoys the show. We got deep, talking about the psychological reasons why people enjoy watching other people sing for votes. We are all a bunch of intellectuals over here in the editorial department. I never once touched on the subject of text voting. Letting people know that you actually go so far as to text a vote to Fox for your favorite contestant is just too personal.

The point of all of this is that I think television is a good thing when it helps people bond, because bonding is a good thing. In fact, corporations all over the world that spend millions of dollars a year sending out employees on trips to play paintball and learn about teamwork could probably save a lot of money if they just assembled everybody and brought up "American Idol" as a topic.

Bonding over something is important. I know some people who would not have a relationship with their fathers if it weren't for conversations on baseball. My guess is that during the Montauk St. Patty's Day parade a fair amount of bonding occurred over a Guinness or two.